Eat the Damn Cake

I don’t mean it like that. Although once, it’s true, I was part of a love triangle of sorts. But that’s a story for another time.

Here’s what I mean:

I was walking to a doctor’s appointment by Lincoln Center, through epic amounts of slush. I was realizing that I do not have any boots that are suitable for winter. And then remembering that I’d realized this last winter. I tried to remember why I hadn’t done anything about it, and could vaguely recollect that it’s really hard to find women’s boots that are good in snow, slush, rain, and the freezing cold, mostly because they don’t look the least bit sexy, and Manhattan shoe stores don’t seem interested in selling non-sexy products. I was speculating that Lands’ End probably had something, when the light changed and I had to jump over a puddle the size of a small, luxury swimming pool (with a vanishing edge), and nearly collided with a woman ahead of me. She had long, sleek dark hair, a big puffy coat, and sexy boots. I couldn’t see her face.

(I was right! source)

I crossed the street just behind her and we turned the same way on the corner. I walked behind her for two blocks, and just as she was turning to enter one of the overpriced restaurants across from the performing arts complex, a group of guys came towards us. The one in the front of pack spotted her immediately and stopped in his tracks. He elbowed his friend, pointing at her with his head. The friend turned to look and stopped, too. There was a small pile-up, which I had to step gingerly around. The dark-haired girl, appearing not to notice (though probably thinking to herself, “Give me a break”), disappeared into the restaurant, and I, invisible, disappeared down the block.

Continue Reading »

I’ve been thinking about houses a lot. Not because I’m in the market for one. Mostly because I’m not.

It seems like marriage and houses go together for a lot of people. You get married, you invest in your first house. It has a yard. You don’t know anyone in the neighborhood yet, but you trust that one day you’ll all be over each other’s houses sipping wine and sharing cute stories about your children’s involvement in various miniature sports.

Of course, the economy has made it pretty difficult for young newlyweds to invest in much of anything. But people still make it happen. They save up and they get a house.

I grew up in suburbia. It felt normal, because I was growing up there. It took 30 minutes to drive anywhere. We shopped at the mall. There were a lot of parking lots.

Continue Reading »