Fuel Rods
2.3 meters of exposed fuel rods. Only essential 50 workers left to frantically try to fix everything. First there was an explosion at the No. 2 reactor. Seawater pumped in. Radioactive steam. Waiting for the wind to blow the wrong way. Over sunken buildings and floating debris and finally people. The pulsing, hungry, growing potential for monumental catastrophe. As if the existing catastrophe were not quite monumental enough.
I’m looking out the window right now, and everything is in its place. The sky knows what it’s supposed to do, and it’s obligingly blue, with a tasteful hint of clouds, nothing too showy. People on the street below walk towards somewhere familiar. They know where they’re going. Regular, harmless steam floats from a rooftop.
I can’t help but think about how much we depend on everything working the way it worked yesterday and the day before that.
The subway is always under construction. Randomly, a bus that reads “#1 train” pulls up to the curb, because the 1 isn’t running all the way uptown. It’s dirty, too. Litter all over the tracks. Bear and I stand there complaining about how the other cities are better. How far behind this city is. How dysfunctional and impractical.
Our lives are full of clutter and small inconveniences and minor frustrations. Which is probably about how most people’s lives were in Japan a few days ago.
It’s a little amazing that so many of my worries rely on the world working smoothly. I mean, I can’t worry about the way I look or how my career is going or whether or not I’m being psychologically healthy when buildings are collapsing around me. That wouldn’t work.
Part of me hates that the moral of the story is so obvious. “Think about the essential things, not the petty ones.”
Because it’s not even true. People think contextually. If you’re confronted with nuclear devastation, you don’t have time to worry about your hair. If you’re not, and you’re worrying about your hair, it doesn’t mean you should be thinking about nuclear devastation. But something like what’s happening in Japan right now can definitely make you think about how unimportant your hair is compared to, say, your life. Or the lives of your family.
And it’s good to get that perspective.
Note: I thought a lot about writing this post. And then I checked like five really big blogs, to see if other women/body image/beauty writers were going to say anything. They weren’t. I think there might be an unspoken rule. But I’m the sensitive type. Sometimes things upset me and they aren’t related to beauty or body image or even being a woman. And it really feels strange to publish a post about movie stars eating a lot in public with this going on in the world. But stay tuned. I’ll probably get around to that tomorrow or the next day.
* * *
Un-roast: Today I love the way I feel when I remember to put my shoulders back. My whole body is surprised, and I feel like I’m doing the right thing, even though my natural inclination is to hunch. Like a turtle. And I do not really want to resemble a turtle.
P.S. No, I don’t actually live on the Brooklyn Bridge. That’s not the view out of my window. Be pretty sweet if it was, though.
Kate on March 15th 2011 in Uncategorized
Jess responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 10:55 am #
Thank you for saying something. <3
Emmi responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 11:43 am #
Thank you for posting this. A tragedy should never be the elephant in the room. I appreciate that you always post about what you feel and what moves you.
Aimée responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 11:46 am #
Thank you for not avoiding the subject. I had to write on it too, even though I had posted the day before – on how I was taking breaks from Japan, quite ironically.
We do have to feel well with ourselves to be compassionate with others… but it’s not just about feeling well with ourselves. Especially, like you said, when it comes to details like our hair. Sometimes events are so strong, shocking, emotional that they just bring our attention out of ourselves no matter what.
Thanks for reminding me that I can share my thoughts and attention between myself/my well-being AND my friends and their people over there in Japan. It’s not about one or the other; it’s about BOTH, inside and outside.
Kate responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 11:53 am #
@Aimee
You said that a lot better than me. Thank you
Autumn responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 11:56 am #
I actually find it difficult to find what I write about as being at all important when there’s stuff like this going on. It makes what I write about feel really irrelevant, even though it’s just as relevant as it was a week ago. There are always bigger problems than body image and beauty, and sometimes something so big happens that it makes me want to give up. I don’t have an answer here.
The Dame responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 11:58 am #
Thank you for writing this post. Ever since Japan my Google reader has gone from “Japan devestation” to “fashion and beauty” and its horrible. Clothes and image dont matter in this life. They really dont.
I write life advice articles but you know what post had the largest traffic to my site? “What I Wore Wednesday”.
I dont condone an army of sheep who bury their heads in pretty things. Id rather people know their reality so they can figure a way out to make it liveable. :/
ps: I know what you mean about the shoulder thing! I love doing it!
Kate responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 12:04 pm #
@Autumn
I hear that! I’ve been feeling like that, too. But the world is an incredibly complicated place, with about a zillion realities existing simultaneously. While I’m writing about body image, people are being brutally murdered and raped in Haiti. While I’m writing about body image, you can look around the world and find a million examples of horror. And that is the way it’s been since I started writing. Since I was born. But I can only write honestly about what I know. And no matter what it is that you know and experience, you’ll have that in common with tons and tons of other people.
Which is the awesome thing about the internet, really. There are communities for people dealing with any number of issues, and for people who just want to laugh, and people have the option of moving between communities, depending on what they’re going through and what they need.
I don’t know if that helps. But it’s nice to remind ourselves that we serve a function, and that we’re really not slotted into a hierarchy of profundity or global relevance.
Sev3nty responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 12:10 pm #
Wow, this made me tear up. Thank you for being brave enough to say something, and articulate it so nicely.
monika responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 12:23 pm #
good words Kate. thank you.
Aimee..spot on:
It’s not about one or the other; it’s about BOTH, inside and outside.
Liz Nord responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 12:56 pm #
Thanks for posting this, Kate. I have been working on a post about Japan since Saturday, but I cannot pull it together. I start rambling. The footage is intense and I feel uncomfortable feelings that I’m not sure how to process. I’m sensitive too.
I live in the “Ring of Fire”, and some of my friends are scared that that we will be directly affected here as well by the contaminated air that could potentially blow here via the ring of fire jet stream. I don’t think it will happen. The media says the radiation would be diluted enough (what does that mean-“enough”?) by the time it arrives here on the West Coast. Our local stores have sold out of some emergency items (such as painted on iodine), a handful of people I know are packing up to get ready to drive East if necessary, and some people are honestly scared that our government and media are not being fully honest. I refuse to panic. I won’t do it.
While I think it’s very important to be real, connect, and empathize with the current events and the people who are affected by the catastrophe, I also think it’s important to not be emotionally swallowed whole by it and to continue living our lives. I do think, in general, it is important to have supplies on hand for a potential emergency and to help the people overseas who are in need in ways that we can.
And then, my mind flips to… I don’t want to hear stupid news about Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, plastic surgery, or any other idiotic celebrity gossip. It seems so unimportant and petty in the grand scheme of things. See I’m rambling…
B1 responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 2:35 pm #
Kate, I’m glad you wrote about Japan. I have family I’ve never met over there and I’m hoping I get the opportunity but with the nuclear fall out, who knows if that will be an option any time soon.
Liz, I hope the winds do not bring any fallout your way. Regarding all of the celebrity news though, people also need distractions. They cannot handle reality, or are so self absorbed they don’t care, or they are tired of the news, but what ever the reason… their reality has to be honored too.
Liz Nord responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 2:40 pm #
B1,
Thank you. I truly think we’ll be fine here.
I think you’re right that some people need distractions. I’m not judging; just saying how I personally feel. 🙂
Shelly Myers responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 3:15 pm #
Thanks Kate . . . for keeping it REAL. It’s not always easy listening to that still small voice that is deep with in. It’s even harder to follow that voice because it makes us different from everyone else. Thanks again for cultivating your individuality and showing the world your HUGE heart is wide open. Namaste!
Mandy responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 3:25 pm #
I sat down to write a response, but Liz Nord and Aimee pretty much said what I was wanting to say, and I realized it about five sentences in.
So, I guess my response is “What Liz Nord and Aimee said.”
Unroast: (Still Important!) I love looking myself in the eye in the mirror. It reminds me that I’m a formidable woman, with an awesome twinkle!
Claire responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 4:14 pm #
Thank you for writing this…I was feeling the same way and did not take the time to put it into words as eloquently as you have. I that’s another message: Take the time. Glad you spoke up.
Megs responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 4:58 pm #
Hi Kate, I posted something a few days ago about Japan and the tsunami and how it changes our perspective and then I woke up this morning and updated myself on the nuclear situation and I was at a loss. I just cried. I thought about posting again but I just could not….deal. You are so right on. Does my head hurt today? Yup. Does that in anyway compare to the trials and tribulations of the people in Japan? Heck no. And what do you do? Tell yourself to suck it up? To get over it? It’s hard to strike the balance.
rachel responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 5:03 pm #
Last night we had friends over for dinner. The gathering was really normal until over coffee one of us mentioned Japan and we all quietly thought about how much worse it might become. Natural disasters of that scale do suspend life in the sense that everyone is waiting to see what will happen. Thousands of miles away life is paused more than stopped. I wonder how it feels to be sealed into your house waiting for the nuclear clouds to stop. Does that feel like life is on hold or does it feel like the end?
mlvlnd responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 5:44 pm #
Thank you, Kate, for stripping away the illusion of safety, and showing us just how delicate the balance of life’s survival actually is. Many of us have no longer the lessons in our educations that disease (due to medical advances) as well as war (due to technological advances) once demanded of us, and in doing so actually gave to us the time to think long and hard along the lines of your column. You serve as a source of honesty. Again, Kate, thank you.
Kate responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 5:49 pm #
@Rachel
I wonder about that, too. How life is feeling right now to people who are suddenly in the middle of this enormous, chaotic, terrifying mess. I can’t imagine, but when I try, I’m already really scared.
Hannah responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 6:26 pm #
I’m really glad you posted this. At first glance, I had no idea what this post was about when I read the title, but then I read your note, THEN I read the post after. I’m so glad I did. We all need reminding of how we should value important things such as family rather than our hair. A couple of people I know have died unexpectedly recently, and that also reminds me that, as cliché as it sounds, life is “not a dress rehearsal”….
San D responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 8:08 pm #
Mother Earth has a mind and rhythm of her own. She is powerful. No matter what we humans do to her, she still dominates. We are but specks on the back of an elephant. It is hard for us to wrap our heads around such tragedies as we see how powerless humans can be. My heart goes out to the families in Japan as they try to cope with the unthinkable. At the same time, minute by minute tragedies happen all around us, the bus that overturned, the young mother who miscarriages, the daughter who watches her father slip away to Alzheimers, the young soldiers lost in war. All this is also part of the narrative and rhythm of life. One person’s loss is no more important than another and each is heart wrenching.
Jamillah responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 11:55 pm #
I really struggled in posting about Japan too. But the truth is I felt paralyzed to post anything else. I had a whole draft ready and prepared last week to post today and I couldn’t hit publish. It felt crazy when something else was so pressing me.
I’m glad you are speaking about it too. And the post before was really precious. I mean something like this really zaps you in a more grounded perspective.
Thanks for always being so honest.
Roxanne responded on 16 Mar 2011 at 1:35 am #
Thank you, Kate. 🙂 I wrote about this in my journal, and about how petty I felt for worrying about my hair and other things that aren’t going to kill me if they don’t go exactly right. So I enjoyed hearing (I say “hearing” because when I read, I can almost hear the person speaking, in my head) your perspective, about thinking contextually.
Trista responded on 16 Mar 2011 at 9:46 am #
I agree with you 100%! I logged on yesterday to read the news before work and sat here crying my eyes out over the photos and videos…..I got in my car, drove to work, and realized inthe parking lot that I never did anything with my hair. I wore a crazy, funny ponytail all day-and didn’t care. Thank you for your post.
Blue inside and outside | Le Japon m'aime, prise 2. [Take Japan's love 2.] responded on 17 Mar 2011 at 5:32 pm #
[…] recently wrote a comment on a mouth-watering blog about how taking care of both our inside space and the others’ is something I value. In this […]
San D responded on 17 Mar 2011 at 7:06 pm #
Want more perspective? I sell stuff on eBay including my vast shoe collection. A repeat buyer just won two pairs. She’s from Japan.