Expensive jewelry
Another thing I don’t understand about women:
Expensive jewelry.
I know people are buying it and people are wearing it, because Tiffany is definitely still in business, and Zales, and Cartier, and all those places in the diamond district.
The other day, a friend and I went to see the Van Cleef and Arpels exhibit at the National Design Museum on the Upper East Side. The necklaces were so big, they looked like your head might snap off if you tried to wear them. Thick gold ropes implanted with rows of gigantic diamonds. The bigger the diamonds, the faker they looked to me. Also, they were ugly.
I think it’s possible that we’ve gotten to a point where the only way you know if the enormous diamonds are real is if you know that the person wearing them is totally opposed to wearing fake diamonds. And also that they have approximately $100 million. Or used to. But otherwise, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s costume jewelry. Which sort of defeats the point, since the point must be to prove how much money you’re willing to spend on jewelry.
I think we’re at that point with wealth in general. Everything can be imitated, and everything is. Unless you buy a mansion and fly around in a private jet, you might just look like everyone else. It’s nice, I think.
I buy a lot of clothes from a thrift store, but some of them are designer labels. No one really knows that I got them for fifteen dollars. Well, maybe they know, because my hair is sticking up in unflattering places, and I’ve already sweated through the armpits of my shirt. The point is, everyone is wearing the same clothes, and the insanely expensive clothes often look cheap and flimsy, and I hardly see people who aren’t wearing nice sunglasses. Since no one is driving a car in the city (and even if they were, that would be an imitation of a fancier car), well, we kinda all look the same.
My engagement ring has a diamond in it. So maybe I’m a hypocrite. I don’t have anything that matches it, so I wear gold hoops a lot. Or whatever. Or I take it off on the days when I think it looks a little silly.
When we were wandering around Fifth Ave a while ago, Bear and I stopped in Tiffany for a few minutes, to watch the show. Crowds of people stared into the dazzle of so many diamonds, so close together, and you could tell which were the cases that people usually bought from. The ones where everything was smaller, and there was a lot more gold, and a lot less sparkle. Tiffany has a payment plan, so that you can do it in installments. They understand that you can’t really afford it, but you’re going to try anyway.
It’s the same with expensive watches for men. Watches that allow you to dive three hundred feet under the ocean at any moment, in case you fall off your cruise ship, or just decide to go on a submarine adventure. It has this special air-releasing valve. It was pressure tested in a nuclear reactor. Someone else is wearing a watch that looks exactly the same, and they got it for 40 bucks. At the end of the day, it’s just a watch. And a diamond is just a rock.
Why bother?
Maybe because YOU know it’s real, and that feels good? I’m all for people feeling good.
Mostly, though, I’d imagine your diamond necklace is a lot like your fine china. You keep it somewhere safe most of the time, and once a year or so, you have occasion to take it out.
Which is why I’m really glad I stood my ground during the wedding planning process and refused to register for fine china. The plates I have work fine. Really, they do. And I don’t get the impression that anyone is judging me for not serving them on something finer.
* * *
Un-roast: Today I love the way I feel in little, soft shorts, and a tank top. Summer!! Yay!!
Kate on June 3rd 2011 in Uncategorized
melrose responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 11:36 am #
Although I’m usually on your side, I can’t say I agree this time!
Mind you, I’m not a fan of the “big name designers,” I”m not opposed to dropping some cash for an original piece of jewellery or clothing. I think of it as supporting the arts 🙂 Plus, are you really going to keep a cheap ring you picked up at Khols to pass down for generations, or is it that beutiful emerald you see on your great grandmother’s finger that you covet for both its beauty and sentimental reasons?
Tiffany responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 11:37 am #
I am so exicted for it to be warm enough to wear summer dresses without shivering! They make me feel grown-up and like a little girl all at the same time 🙂
Kate responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 11:42 am #
@Melrose
Yeah, you’re right about heirlooms. But I can’t bring myself to want to be the one who starts the tradition! And jewelry is marked up SO much…It feels like you’re getting cheated.
Kate responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 11:42 am #
@Tiffany
I know! I love summer dresses! I buy them all year round, and then I wait….
Kerry responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 11:54 am #
I love this post, Kate.
I am also a person who has one diamond ring that doesn’t match anything else (and I probably will never have any other diamonds – I like colorful things) I treasure it as something unique, unlike anything else I’ll ever own, and call it a day.
As for clothes…I feel 100x more fabulous and glamourous when I actually find a pair of pants that fit me (which happens about once a decade), no matter where they came from or what they cost. Fit makes me feel expensive.
San D responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 1:11 pm #
Everyone has different aesthetic styles. I prefer to take my money and spread it around and buy original one of a kind artisan jewelry and clothing instead of a few designer pieces that anyone can buy. That said, I don’t begrudge anyone their tastes for fine wine, jewelry, clothing, china, cars, etc. It keeps our economy going. If I had a bagillion dollars, I would still have my own sense of style, and wouldn’t be drawn like a moth to Tiffanys.
Lili @ Relatable Style responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 1:57 pm #
Great post! While reading it, I’m sitting here with my Manolo Blahnik knock-offs for 15€ instead of 600. I didn’t know when I bought them, I just thought they were pretty. So, yes, everyone is wearing pretty much the same!! 🙂 My thought exactly. You can usually tell by context if something was expensive. Or by elevated ugliness ^^
Samantha Angela @ Bikini Birthday responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 2:05 pm #
I admit that I appreciate a certain level of quality in the things I buy which is why I prefer not to buy cheap knock-offs. But if something is worth imitating then I probably can’t afford the original so I end up with a bunch of good quality barely brands.
Luxury items are excessive. Sure they’re good quality, but the price indicate that they’re not JUST about quality, they’re about making yourself feel sophisticated and better than other people. Really, they are. Maybe the way I’m wording it isn’t the best way to phrase it, but it’s true. I think there was an experiment done when people were given a Tiffany or Victoria’s Secret shopping bag to carry around and they reported feeling better about themselves. Just by carrying a shopping bag!
It’s something about exclusivity that gives people a certain air of pretension. Maybe they like that feeling and that’s why they buy expensive jewellery.
Fritzy responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 3:54 pm #
I also LOVE thrift shops, but I realize that unless there were expensive stores and people who shop in them, thrift shops would not exist. I’m just grateful that some people WANT to shop the expensive stores and then, a few months later, donate the items they (perhaps) wore only once to the thrift shop. Every one benefits—the expensive store and it’s designers, the thrift shop and it’s customers and the charity that the thrift shop supports. I absolutely believe there are people who NEED to wear expensive clothes and jewels and drive expensive cars to feel better about themselves. Bless them ! and I’m happy as a clam in my thrift shop purchases. We are not all supposed to like the same things!
Kate responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 3:57 pm #
Awww….you guys are so much nicer than me! 🙂
B responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 4:42 pm #
I’ve told my husband that if we ever have the money for nice jewelry, he is to buy a number of pieces at vintage places, ebay, craigslist, etc – the depreciation on those things is jaw-dropping. Then take them to an independent jeweler, make sure they’re real, and have them re-set into original and creative new pieces.
Ideally, this should a) save lots of money; b) not support unethical mining via buying used things; c) support a local artist/business; and d) be totally unique and suited to me.
Of course, I don’t ever see us having money for that kind of extravagance, but that would be the way to go about it.
Kate responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 4:43 pm #
@B
Now THERE’s a plan! Smart.
ashling responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 5:16 pm #
Well said! I’m not much for expensive jewelry or clothes…I like knowing that I love something I’m wearing and didn’t pay much!
Deanna responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 5:57 pm #
I’m with you Kate. I have found that people who tend to accumulate a lot of stuff..expensive stuff…don’t always have the best values. Don’t get me wrong, I love nice things and I even have a few pieces of very nice jewelry but those who have a lot…100s of pairs of expensive shoes and handbags seem shallow to me. Also…we all work hard and smart…what makes them so darn rich? It seems a bit dishonest to me. Watch the movie Inside Job…you’ll know what I mean.
zoe (and the beatles) responded on 03 Jun 2011 at 9:53 pm #
man, i feel the same way! the need to accumulate stuff tends to create negativity in my life. i find the more i simplify and the more i avoid purchasing big ticket items just to live up to some societal ideal, the more happy i am in my heart and soul. the more i declutter my life, the more content i am. things don’t make people. the things on the inside make people.
Jak responded on 05 Jun 2011 at 3:45 pm #
I feel like it might also be something to indicate to those -in the know- *wink wink*. There are still ways to pick out what’s a fake and what’s “real” by looking at it that us regular pleebs just won’t ever recognize. Then those who know look at the context–oh, this person is wearing this expensive piece but nothing else, they must be new money or something.
I’m personally not a huge fan of diamonds and will either get an onyx ring or a simple white gold ring. I only say white gold because silver would tarnish from such continued wear. With rings I refuse to pay a lot for the stone, but the metal has to be right on my finger.
In the end, though, not all quality comes from labels and not all labels are quality.
Raven responded on 06 Jun 2011 at 4:05 am #
Having been the step-daughter of a multi-millionaire, let me just say this . . .
1. Rich people sweat, too.
2. You’re unlikely to see truly wealthy people flaunting their jewels except at important functions; the rest of the time, they (the non-first generational elites) can tell one another apart by the quality of the seam work on their clothing or they already know each other through one another’s banker, broker, father, golf buddy, etc. A simple pair of earrings, a wedding band, a bracelet or necklace (usually one or two, not more) are tasteful without being gaudy. Often times, people from generations of wealthy ancestors will see an over abundant use of jewelry as a sign of the “nouveau riche,” a term as we all know is used to describe people who only recently came into money and “don’t know how to spend it.”
I am no longer wealthy, and when I lived within that sphere of society, I was too young to truly appreciate both the benefits and the hypocrisy inherent. All I can say now is that even if I could now afford something from Tiffany’s or Cartier, I wouldn’t bother. No matter how many guarantees, I can’t be assured that the diamonds they sell didn’t come from some level of oppression, mostly of brown people, in impoverished countries. Also, as an adult, I’ve developed a number of allergies, including to certain metals (even gold!), so I only wear silver. It’s prettier, and stones like garnet or amethyst are more appealing to me. Besides, I don’t think diamonds are very interesting.
I apologize for the overly political ranting above, but it’s my perspective on the issue. The only thing I agree with is significant flaunting of jewelry of any level of worth seems gaudy to me, and is best left to drag shows and Dame Edna (who rocks costume jewelry like I’ve never seen before).
<3
Raven
Sooz responded on 06 Jun 2011 at 7:12 am #
Love this Post! I feel the same way about expensive jewelry. I specifically asked for a small engagement ring from my husband. And I often do not wear it b/c it gets in the way. Since I watched the movie “Blood Diamond” I feel bad that I even have a diamond. Personally I think costume jewelry is nicer, looks cool, and just makes more sense. Keep up the great writing!
Juniper responded on 07 Jun 2011 at 5:41 pm #
I see your point of view for sure! And I highly agree with you on clothing.. when I see ppl spend thousands on a coat that looks the same as a hundred dollar coat, it’s kinda silly, but I think it makes them happy, so cheers if that’s the case.
I work at an animal shelter, we see ourselves as living a simple lifestyle. But I do have one… errr, vice?
When it comes to adorning myself with jewelry, all my ‘simplicity rules!’ goes out the window. I have peices that are 10,000+ . They are special, lovely peices that I wear every single day and cherish so much. They were gifts from my husband and family on special occasions.
When it comes to the sparkle, there is a difference between real and fake when you see how detailed and fine a peice is. I don’t care about how much they cost, what I see and enjoy is that they are truly peices of art and one of a kind.
I enjoy them and wear them everyday, even at the shelter, maybe people think they are fake, that doesn’t matter to me, because I don’t wear them for other people, I wear them because I love them.
I have to agree with you that it really bothers me when people have something they cherish, whatever that may be… yet they only take it out of the box once a year. Life is too short for that.
I think it comes down to, most people have their materialistic pleasure, for some people, that just happens to be jewels. : )
Mandy responded on 11 Jun 2011 at 7:21 pm #
I worked part time at a silver jewelry store for a couple of years. At first, I wasn’t taking home all of my paycheck, but after a while, my taste got very specific, and very simple, and I developed a set of rules for buying jewelry that also works well for clothing:
1) Do I love it?
2) Will I actually wear it?
3) Can I afford it?
4) Will it haunt me if I leave it behind?
If I answer yes to all of these questions, I’ll buy it. If not, I don’t need it.
Anna responded on 13 Jun 2011 at 4:47 am #
I had worked with Van Cleef & Arpels jewelry before. The gems are exquisite and the designs amazing. These are works of artists with their chosen media.
Price point for jewelry, as with any commodity, even bread and cake, is determined by perceived value and rarity. Look at the price of a Polluck… or a cupcake… isn’t it all subjective?
Possessions have often been human’s chosen way of validation.
With fine jewelry, there could be a true appreciation of the unique gemstone – bestowed by nature and not to be repeated. There could be an acknowledgement of incredible craftsmanship that showcased the gem. Those who buy the jewelry could just be patrons of the art who also have the means.
It’s all relative.
Roxanne responded on 14 Jun 2011 at 2:06 am #
I plan to buy a pair of small diamond studs when I get my first job 🙂 I like that they’re supposed to last forever, and that I can always have a piece of my youth with me, and something that was there when I was busy making all the most important memories of my life. And then when I’m done, I get to pass them on to a granddaughter, and that pair of earrings will transcend time and generations. I love that! Besides, buying something so expensive for myself – not as a gift to someone else, not because I did anything particularly special that day – just as a reward for being me, reminds me that I have to cherish myself, and not depend on anyone else to do that for me. I love the meaning behind buying something expensive for myself, for no reason, with money that I worked hard for. 🙂
Kate responded on 14 Jun 2011 at 9:17 am #
@Roxanne
I don’t think quite the same way (obviously), but you made it sound so appealing!