DUMBO
We moved! It looked like this (old place):
And then, after I unpacked a million boxes, this (new place):
Bear thought he would take all of the boxes out at once. I asked him why he’d even try to do that. He said because he was a man.
I was laughing at him.
“Yeah, that’s REALLY helpful,” he said:
But he had to admit it was pretty funny:
My brother and Bear put two huge Ikea bookcases together:
The instructions were ridiculous, apparently:
But it ended up like this anyway:
This little lantern from Ikea makes me happy:
Today the place looks mostly like an actual home. I’ll put up a picture when it looks entirely like an actual home.
I’m trying to get to know the area. I was awkward in the new grocery store. Who gets socially awkward in a grocery store? I banged into a shelf and clenched my teeth to keep myself from making a wimpy, inappropriate sound. The woman closest to me was holding a box of sushi and wearing a perfect outfit that fit her perfectly, and I felt like I shouldn’t have taken a cart at the door. I was the only one with a cart. Did I look greedy? Is it obvious that I don’t do yoga?
The super is sick of me. I keep calling him because I don’t know who else to call. He knows my voice, and there’s a sigh in his when he says, “Yes?” A few lights were out. I couldn’t move the couch on my own. The sink in the bathroom didn’t have a stopper. I spent most of one day on the curtain rods, which are listing from the wall. The sheetrock rejects screws. It spits them out. I learned about mollies and butterfly bolts. I learned about electric drills. I know what a chuck is now, and I can grab it in the right place while I insert the bit holder. Every time I try to describe what I’ve been up to, it sounds obscene.
“I pounded it into the hole, but when I went to screw it in right after, it slipped right out.”
I feel like I’m constantly talking about my penis, in really rude terms.
Even explaining what a molly is to a friend was awkward.
“It’s like a sheath that fits over the screw. With ribbing, so it can grip the inside of the hole.”
“So, like a condom?” she said.
“Yeah.”
DUMBO (it’s supposed to have all caps. I feel stupid writing it like that, though) is very trendy. On the way to the hardware store for the third time, I walked by a child model getting her picture taken. Men wearing all black fussed around her, holding that big reflective aluminum-looking disc that they always have. She had a distant look in her eyes and her little chin was fixed at a sexy angle. Her mom hovered in the background.
A very tall, slender, stunning black woman in a blood red strapless gown and gold choker went by, talking with a man whose appearance didn’t register beside her brightness. I stubbed my toe.
The Upper West Side feels suddenly schlumpy in my memory. These people really have it together. I looked through my clothes several times and can’t find anything fashionable. There’s a good chance I don’t know what fashionable looks like until I see it on someone else.
My new couch makes me feel like a grownup. My attempts to communicate with Fidel, a guy whose exact role in the building I don’t even know, make me feel like a child. I can’t remember any of the Spanish I worked so hard to learn three summers ago, when I was cramming for a proficiency exam. I passed. What a joke. We are making a lot of gestures. Screwing various sized invisible screws into the air.
I am standing on the back of the big, grownup couch, and Fidel is on the ladder, and we are trying every type of molly we can think of, but the wall won’t relent.
“Cheap,” he says, pointing at the wall.
I definitely understand.
“No me gusta,” I say.
I have a new home! With big holes in the wall. With only one curtain.
I love it. I’m a little scared of it. What will happen here? We’ll see!
* * *
Unroast: Today I love the way I look in cheap, chunky earrings.
Kate on August 5th 2011 in Uncategorized
Avery responded on 05 Aug 2011 at 5:33 pm #
I love the bookcase!
And I know what you mean, the grocery store thing. Only I always do that in airports. But everyone, except the freaks of beauty, strolling through dallas at 5 am, with raw silk travel wear and free-trade espresso, looks like dorks in airports.
Congratulations on your new apt.
Jennie responded on 05 Aug 2011 at 7:38 pm #
I’ve been watching too many movies lately, because I totally know what DUMBO stands for!
Those bookshelves look great, btw.
Jennifer Jo responded on 05 Aug 2011 at 8:32 pm #
Did you know plumbing pieces have male and female parts? Yeah, I KNOW. Funny thing, I’ve been married to a carpenter for nearly 15 years and I didn’t know that about the plumbing until just a couple months ago. It’s amazing we have four children.
(I totally just threw that last line in there to mess with ya.)
Congrats on the move. I like the big windows.
MarieElizabeth responded on 05 Aug 2011 at 11:24 pm #
This was hilarious! I’m glad you’re doing so well in the new place, even with the challenges. Can’t wait to see the finished product.
kathleen responded on 05 Aug 2011 at 11:31 pm #
Love cheap chunky earrings!
Mandy responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 12:53 am #
Moving to new surroundings can make you feel like a cat, prowling around the background and poking an inquisitive nose into every nook and corner.
And/or a (hopefully) happy magpie rearranging the new nest until it’s just right.
*Sigh* In a way, I envy you a bit. You have just rid yourself of all of your obsolete possessions, and are in the process of figuring out what new useful and pretty things will fit the new you that has been revealed by your new space.
Enjoy the adventure!
BTW, your description of your venture into carpentry made me laugh out loud!
And, will someone please tell me what DUMBO means?
San D responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 7:44 am #
Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass.
San D responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 8:41 am #
Kate, try Grimaldi’s pizza at 19 Old Fulton Street. And here are some visuals from people not familiar with DUMBO:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nico_geerlings/5128911430/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/vivnsect/5133963804/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/saucysalad/4285501328/
Kate responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 10:57 am #
@San D
Grimaldi’s has the LONGEST line ever. Always. But I’m excited to try it.
I’ll take some pictures of the area soon and put them up. It’s truly funky.
Kate responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 11:05 am #
@Jennifer Jo
LOL! I’m glad you’re finally learning…
Jess responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 11:15 am #
Your new couch looks splendid. Can’t wait to remove the old one for you. I envy your bookshelves.
I was going to ask you how you liked Brooklyn, but now I know! I promise it’ll get easier. I’ll help!
Marie responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 11:42 am #
Go to Galapagos Art Space when you get the chance!! My wife and I got married there in June… it’s a really cute/quirky LEEDS greenspace with a pond in the floor and lots of cool music/art shows. Corner of Water and Main Street
Uncle Randy responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 11:42 am #
The place looks bright and spacious!
Simon ……. the boxes….. they are very fast and can get away easily, you did great!
Hope to see you this trip!
Love,
Uncle Randy
San D responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 1:49 pm #
oopsy on the photos above meant to say “for” not “from” obviously the people taking those pictures ARE familiar with DUMBO
Alexis Wittman, Portland, OR USA responded on 06 Aug 2011 at 8:13 pm #
I SO love that you are settling in….Remember NYC is REALLY just a collection of villages…in no time at all you’ll know your own bagelman, drycleaner, homeless guy, and village idiots.
Since there is no good newspaper here in my new layover home of Greenville, SC, I’ve been reading the NY Times 2-3 times a week. Gives me a hankering for living there again ~
you go girl! eat the cake!
alexis
Emmi responded on 07 Aug 2011 at 9:40 am #
My husband would totally try to do that with the boxes, too. I think if your Bear and my Josh ever met they would have an epic bromance. Or completely hate each other 😉
Yay moving! Love the bookshelves. Enjoy your new space!
Dee responded on 08 Aug 2011 at 8:58 am #
I love the pics in this post – and appreciate the ones of DUMBO.
being from l.a. by way of chicago i had no idea – maybe i don’t see enough movies. my husband and i have visited manhattan several times and would move there in a heartbeat if it was feasible. now i get to see brooklyn through your eyes and it looks pretty cool too.
Sooz responded on 08 Aug 2011 at 7:55 pm #
GREAT bookcase!!!!!!!!!!