The Vicious, Dangerous World of Blogging
Blogging can get vicious. I didn’t know that when I started. I was pretty innocent.
OK, that’s not true. I was scared. I knew that the internet was a place where people said mean things to each other anonymously, and I was afraid that some of those mean things flying around would hit me, and I’d fall down immediately.
But I started blogging anyway, because I love to write, and because I wanted to talk about things with real people (not just the future self who will one day read my journal but does not yet exist, and who will still be me anyway, when she does exist). And because I started to get the sense that there were all of these little communities out there, like islands, in the stormy ocean of the internet.
I don’t read the comments on my articles for The Huffington Post, because too often they’re really rude, angry, and aggressive. Not that I don’t get nice ones, too. But there are too many awful ones to make it worth my while.
I’m sensitive. People keep telling me to get a thicker skin. People keep saying stuff about “If you want to be a writer…”
Well, I am a writer. And I’m sensitive. I try really hard to be tough. But when people say mean things about me, it pretty much always hurts. It pretty much always gets through.
Which is why I’m up, at 2:00 a.m., sitting with my computer at the table, staring at a tired bouquet of wilting miniature roses in a blue vase, and back at the screen again. It’s also why, about forty minutes ago, in bed with my fiancé, I said, “Who are these people, who are sitting at their computers somewhere in the world, writing mean things about me, when they haven’t even met me? I’m not writing mean things about them!”
“Honey,” he said, “If you want to write stuff and put it on the internet, you have to get used to this.”
“But I never attack anyone! Why do people want to do that?”
“Because it’s easy to criticize other people. It makes them feel good about themselves.”
“But don’t they think for a second that maybe I’m out here— somewhere—with feelings?”
“Honey, for everything you put on the internet, there will be about a hundred people who will say it’s stupid. That’s just the internet.”
I guess that’s true. And some days, when it happens, I’m sort of flattered. Someone takes all of this time to write an article about how offensive my article was. That’s a lot of energy expended on me. But most of the time, I just wonder how I managed to offend someone that much. Since I’m usually not writing with the purpose of offending. It often seems like people feel empowered by being offended.
And then I wonder why they feel so comfortable saying things about me that I’d never feel comfortable saying about anyone. There’s a basic disconnect. And I ask myself what’s wrong with me— it’s a tough world—get over it. Deal with it. People aren’t going to be nice, they’re going to be people. Stop living in a fantasy where everyone is polite and caring. That doesn’t exist.
I guess I’m always going to be sad, though, that the “real world” so often means a world in which people are pointlessly cruel, brusque, unfeeling, and uncharitable. As a kid, I got obsessed with civil rights and feminism (which feels a little ironic, in light of the people who are now convinced that I’m completely clueless about these things), trying to work out how people could be so oppressed, for no good reason. I felt like there was always something I was missing. How could people act so cruelly?
(image source here)
In college, there was an incident that bothered me profoundly. A girl had come into the dorm, looking for her boyfriend, who didn’t want to see her. She was calling for him to come out of his room. He wouldn’t. He told her to go away, and she wouldn’t. She was upset, and kept saying she needed to talk to him. They yelled back and forth for a while, and then, slowly, the other students came out of their rooms and began to gather in the hall. They surrounded the girl. And they began to chant at her, “Get out! Get out!” They moved like one entity. Like a mob. I remember being completely confused. I knew they were siding with the boyfriend, but the only reason seemed to be that he lived in the same place that they lived. And that had been by arbitrary assignment. They didn’t know the girl. They didn’t know the story. But they were crowding around her, screaming in her face, pushing her out of the building. She screamed back at them, like a cornered animal, but she was helpless. And watching the scene from my own boyfriend’s doorway, I was helpless too, because there were so many of them, and because I had no idea why they would do that.
I still have no idea. I mean, I can analyze it. I can study psychology and anthropology and neurology and sociology. But I’ll probably never understand on a basic, human level.
And honestly, I refuse to believe that my sensitivity is entirely negative.
It’s because I’m sensitive that I’m able to fall in love with minute details. Like the transmission towers in the wetlands just outside the city. NJ transit goes by them. They’re slender and latticed and delicate against the sky. Every time I see them, I think they’re strangely beautiful, and almost alien. Like the way my fiancé says, “Right?” at the end of a sentence, when he wants to include other people in whatever he’s saying, and only when he’s saying it seriously. Like the way my father’s eyebrow quirks up when he’s moved by something. Just one eyebrow. I love details.
It’s because I’m sensitive that I’m able to be made abruptly happy by little things. I laugh a lot.
I also care a lot about other people. Not only what they think of me, but whether or not they’re OK. I remember when my mother asked a teenage girl who was struggling with a guy in a parkinglot if she was OK. The girl said yeah, she was just play-fighting, but as a ten-year-old, it made an impact on me. I knew I was supposed to care if that girl was OK.
Sometimes I think that being tough and independent are characteristics that get overemphasized. We’re always told to smack opposition down and to walk away with a shrug, because sticks and stones….And because we’re the only ones who can really defend ourselves. And because we need to be able to count on ourselves to do—everything. But that isn’t realistic. It’s simplistic, and sometimes it gets a little ridiculous.
We need other people. Every single one of us. And in order to need other people, we have to feel vulnerable. In order to be social at all, we have to be vulnerable. So we end up spending a lot of time and energy overcompensating for our social instinct by trying so, so hard to be impervious to other people, and to the world. It’s exhausting.
My fiancé was right. It’s easy to be mean to someone who you’ve never met. And it’s easy for me to be sensitive to it. So maybe everyone involved is just taking the easier path. But I’m glad that my path goes alongside the transmission towers.
* * *
Un-roast: Today I love the way I look in really high heels, and also my willingness to save my feet by only wearing them on rare occasions.
Over at Knotty Yarn, a blog that I didn’t know about until yesterday, Danielle’s readers continue to bond over how ridiculous and pathetic I am. It’s a little amazing to watch. But I’m going to have to start looking away soon.
Thanks to Penelope Trunk for listening to me talk about this, and giving me some good advice. I want to be her intern.
Kate on August 3rd 2010 in Uncategorized
Ryan Paugh responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 2:12 pm #
You wanna be a Brazen intern???
I think that you’re doing a great job as a writer. I’ve read your stuff before and it’s so thoughtful and authentic. I respect that especially with all of the bullshit on the Internets these days.
I consider myself to be a rather sensitive person as well. I’m not good at accepting criticism in person, but when I write I have to let myself go and be willing to accept the harshness that people toss my way.
If you’ve written a good, opinionated piece then negativity is going to frequently come your way. The good news is that it means you’re becoming a better writer, so good for you.
Maggie responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 2:17 pm #
I am sure there is an eloquent way to comment on this and agree (a lot) but I do not have the brainpower right now. But I wanted to say I agree. People can be vicious (especially in blogland), and it’s always easier to be bitchy when you’re not face to face with someone or you are cloaked by the rest of a group. It’s bad. Unfortunately I’ve been on both sides of these situations! Penelope is cool.
Anna responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 2:22 pm #
As my father always says… “no matter what you do, someone, somewhere, is going to think you’re an asshole.”
There will always be haters in this world, but you and your writing will always have a fan in me.
Monique responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 2:36 pm #
I read your article for The Huffington Post about “The Wedding,” and I thought it was clever and funny. I felt surprisingly defensive of you when I started reading the comments, and I’m really sorry that you had to deal with that explosion of unkindness. They were not the sort of comments I expected. Just know that you ARE clever and funny, and I’m proud of your $10 shoes.
Rachel responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 2:49 pm #
First, whatever you write people are going to find things to disagree with, things to add and just generally bring their own perspective to. Often that will feel hurtful, but if you only focus on that element, you’ll miss out on the discussions. Some people criticize to insult, but some critique to analyze ideas. It’s especially hard to hear criticism about our beliefs when those beliefs reflect our identities, but sometimes doing so can be constructive. We can’t control our initial reactions but we can take a step back to see if there’s anything to be learned from the feedback we receive.
Katya responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 2:51 pm #
I’m sorry people say mean things about you on the internet. You deserve better. People shouldn’t use the internet to take their anger out just because it’s a dehumanized medium and it’s easier that way. I’m peeved at all those people who react to your sensitivity by saying “Honey, [reason why your sensitivity isn’t appropriate/valid/real].” You have every right to be pissed off when people rage at you, and you shouldn’t have to “get tough and indepedent.” People who care about you should be fundamentally WITH you in your emotional state insofaras that is healthy. Grrr, internet douchebags!
Civility is lacking these days. I suspect it has always been lacking, but I still think it’s something to strive for wherever you go.
Ellie Di responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 2:53 pm #
Haters gonna hate. There’s no rhyme or reason that you can decipher from it, unfortunately. Another good axiom to remember: “Opinions are like assholes – everybody’s got one”. <3
Kate responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 3:03 pm #
@Ryan
Um…Yes. Actually, I want to BE YOU. But really, thanks for reading, and for admitting to being sensitive.
And let me know if I can get involved in following Penelope around in any way aside from emailing her a lot.
Kate responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 3:04 pm #
@Rachel
There are plenty of ways to criticize without insulting, though. And those discussions seem inherently more productive to me!
Jennifer responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 3:11 pm #
Coming from someone who reads, and generally adores this blog: I understand that it may be hurtful to read such intensely dissenting comments on Knotty Yarn, but from what I’ve read, there are no personal attacks on you. It’s difficult to hear that you’re privileged, but from someone who read your post in question, I also believed that your perspective was a highly, highly privileged one, and also, yes, somewhat immature (e.g. your treatment of feminist stereotypes, which you did nothing to dispel or dismiss, but seemed to accept). It may be hard to read – but I don’t feel as though people are say ‘mean things’ about you. Is it possible that you believe that this is so because hearing that you are privileged tends to automatically garner a lot of self-defence? The things here is not that you are privileged, but how you use it – somewhat akin to being born, say, rich, which is not inherently bad.
As far as ‘vicious’ attacks go, the blog post and corresponding comments on Knotty Yarn? Quite civil, and, if I may say, with a basis in truth.
Please note that this only refers to the post and comments on that blog; I haven’t read your posts on Huffington.
Kate responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 3:26 pm #
@Jennifer
I’m not sure what counts as “mean” these days, and I’m not interested in citing a list of examples of things people said about me here, but you and I obviously have a different definition! Or maybe you’ve achieved that “thick skin” I’m lacking.
I also don’t think that “privilege” is really a fitting critique of my position (which wasn’t even a very passionate position, by the way, and more of an exploration of an idea). People can either define as feminists or not, from all walks of life. And they can passionately defend women’s rights without defining as feminists, too. There’s a lot of room in the world for different approaches. It’s a little bit of a cop out to label me as privileged in order to dismiss whatever I’m saying.
That said, I like debating! And I loved a lot of the feedback I got about feminism. But, again, I don’t think that feedback has to come in the form of condescending or aggressive language.
Also, I’m a little disappointed that so many people seem to think I believe in the “feminist stereotypes” I mentioned. I was writing tongue-in-cheek, and it was probably my failure to be clear about that that motivated some of the anger. This happens to me pretty frequently, especially when I publish in larger forums. People don’t seem to “get the joke.” I think it’d be pretty absurd to believe the stereotypes I mentioned. And I’m a little hurt that you think that of me, after reading my work!
But hey, that’s something I need to improve in my writing, and blogging is all about improving communication.
Lu responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 3:39 pm #
Kate, I read both your post and Danielle’s and honestly, I was more impressed with both of your opinions and the passionate way you both expressed them. I am not about attacking people online, I see it as pointless.
If anything, your posts has prompted a conversation and I see that as a positive thing. Conversation is good, always.
Kate responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 3:40 pm #
@Lu
Thank you so much for this!!!
sweetsalty kate responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 3:44 pm #
Almost without exception, the initial post and comments over at Knotty Yarn address the concepts you present with respect, and springboard others to sensibly and calmly reflect on their own beliefs and experience. If you think anything over there is cruel and mean, you’ve never seen cruel and mean. That’s just the truth.
You began a post about feminism with, “Eww! Hairy armpits!” Then, predictably, you were challenged on that. Calmly, academically. Then you got upset and about the cruelty heaped upon you by the world. After stating that feminists are gross because not enough of them get pedicures, you decided others were being condescending to you. (?????) The disagreement was respectful and thoughtful, and earned. After which you called the writer of the initial post an asshole without your tongue remotely in cheek.
The notion of attack or conflict in any of this feels incredibly contrived. For what? It’s like a fake throw in hockey. You stood there in the opponent’s end, trying to incite a fight. Someone gave you a purely intellectual nudge. You flipped over backwards and, apparently, lost both arms in the doing of it. See? Weird.
Jamie responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 3:44 pm #
Thanks for the link to Knotty Yarn. I read her post and commented. I think, honestly, you both have the same beliefs but are coming from a different place and taking a different approach. And I support you both. : )
Carly responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 4:07 pm #
@sweetsalty kate –
I don’t want to get into an argument, but what you said:
“After stating that feminists are gross because not enough of them get pedicures”
Is a total misreading of that post. You should try giving it another read with an open mind.
Justine responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 4:18 pm #
I’ve found that if you ever feel like taking a look at how cruel people can be, look no further than the comments on a widely read blog post. It doesn’t even matter the subject. I’ve read some truly disgusting things about our president, about celebrities, and women who did nothing more than post a picture of themselves (or unknowingly had someone else post one) and I have learned not to look at the comments, they scare me.
That being said, I think the folks over on knottyyarn, save a few, weren’t really mean (although I get upset over anything so I totally understand your feelings!) I’ve seen SO much worse, especially towards women who get attacked for their physical appearance on the internet all the time.
The most important thing I’ve learned in this life so far is that you never know where someone else is coming from. Whenever a person makes assumptions about me, or is hurtful in anyway for no apparent reason, I try to tell myself that they must be going through something awful. A person who lashes out, or makes hateful comments, has a long, lonely, journey ahead of them, and all I can do is show them the kindness they’re obviously lacking at that moment, and that takes a lot of sensitivity.
I also think the stigma attached to “getting emotional” comes from a masculine dominated world. I believe that men are discouraged from showing emotions, and women are forced to follow suit, but I believe sensitivity is what connect us. I think that you and Danielle both showed that emotions are incredibly positive because they open up discussion, and that’s where change begins!
Apple responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 4:26 pm #
Next time you encounter haters who, in fact, are gonna hate no matter what, close your eyes and think of this:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2010/07/28/funny-pictures-puffin/
Kate responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 4:28 pm #
@Apple
Perfect. Problem solved 🙂
Natalie responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 5:01 pm #
Anyone who writes this:
I wanted to talk about things with real people (not just the future self who will one day read my journal but does not yet exist, and who will still be me anyway, when she does exist).
…is brilliant.
I think there is a way to be sensitive AND tough…when I figure it out, I’ll let you know. It’s been the biggest problem of my life trying to balance those two…extremes…? So I (sort of) understand where you’re coming from. I have a blog (my last entry was actually about dealing with being clumsy and sensitive) but it doesn’t have nearly as many readers or comments as yours, so no, I don’t know what it’s like to have people tear me apart in cyberspace when I’m sharing my beliefs. I bet it’s hard.
BUT, I do know that someone who has the courage to share and be quirky and utterly crackerjack out in the anonymous public of the internet is most certainly a tough and independent person.
Without the risk of sounding too Spice Girl (or anti-feminist or whatever)…You go girlfriend.
AlisonM responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 5:16 pm #
Hi Kate – This is my first comment on ETDC, but I’ve been reading for a while.
I found your post on feminism thought-provoking, and while I didn’t entirely agree with it, I welcomed it. Because as a 29 year-old, college-educated, white middle-class woman, I’m confused by the concept.
I also used to say that I wasn’t a feminist. I used to think that feminism was an outdated movement, and that in focusing on the gender divide, we were just exacerbating the problem. But a lot of my friends strongly identify as feminists, and in conversations with them, I’ve come to see a lot of what is talked about over at Knotty Yarn. The pay gap, maternity leave, sexual politics, the fact that I shave my armpits..
(Though FWIW, on that final point I don’t think you were being juvenile. I think a consciousness of the social expectations that are tied to our appearance are the first experience many women have of this problem. I also think that body image issues and sex are an important part of it. Of course it extends beyond our armpits, but that’s as good a place to start as any.)
The irony is that I think Kotty Yarn was ultimately far more supportive of your post than she perhaps intended. The clue is in the words of Andrea Dworkin:
“Part of having a feminist resistance…means active, proselytizing dialogue with women of many different political viewpoints because their lives are worth what your lives are worth.”
Active, proselytizing dialogue with people of different viewpoints.
If it weren’t for your post Kate, then Knotty Yarn wouldn’t have posted. I, and all the other men and women who commented on both blogs, and in the Huffington Post, wouldn’t have thought about it in that particular way. We wouldn’t have been challenged. I wouldn’t be writing this comment right now.
And most importantly, we wouldn’t be thinking “well hang on, what *is* feminism”?
The way I see it, the biggest issue with feminism is that it is constantly evolving. This is in response to changing social and political environments, but it also means that we’re in a constant battle to try and get a handle on it, and agree on what it means.
And it is in that sense your post did the biggest service of all. Because in saying “this doesn’t speak to me anymore”, you’ve challenged us to think about whether it does speak to us, and if not, why not. You’ve played a role in pushing feminism on. Who knows, maybe we’re due a new wave..
I hope that helps. And keep posting 🙂
Alison
Kate responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 5:22 pm #
@Alison
Thank you for this comment. I appreciate it so much. I’d like nothing more than to have a dialogue about feminism. I definitely feel very strongly that there’s a huge need for awareness about unequal treatment of women. I just don’t know that I have to call myself a feminist anymore, despite how much I care about that.
I think you’re right, the quote from Dworkin says a lot. Thank you for pointing out the ways in which Danielle and I are already in dialogue.There’s a lot more to be said here, and I hope we can all keep talking about it!
And thank you for being thoughtful and kind!
Amelia Jane responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 6:38 pm #
I’m surprised no-one’s linked this yet; http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2010/07/28/aint-i-a-mama/ which is a case against identifying as feminist by someone with, I imagine, a completely different cultural background who is an activist in a totally different way (if, indeed, you identify as activist at all.) (I’m not saying that to sound catty, I just have no idea what you do beyond this blog, or if you choose to call yourself an activist.)
Rob responded on 03 Aug 2010 at 10:17 pm #
I can tell you why those people crowded around that girl in the dorm. There is a very animalistic rush that comes from being part of the “in-group” and joining in against an “outsider”. Just think of it like ants from one colony swarming an unrecognized ant from another colony and dismembering it. Or wolves guarding their hunting ground against stragglers and rejects from other packs.
There is a visceral thrill in defeating someone weaker, and that thrill can be shared vicariously by joining in with the mob. The more people join in, the more anger and hostility is expressed, and it becomes a catharsis for all the frustrations we experience everyday that we have no outlet for. It’s a giddy and almost ecstatic experience to lose oneself in the swarm and participate in the dismembering of the outsider. It’s a bonding activity. It’s a feeling of unconditional acceptance, because everyone can feel exhilarated about not being the “loser” on the receiving end.
They get to play the power role, and how often do we really get to do that in life? How often do our one-on-one conflicts end in something more satisfying than just a frustrating standoff? How often do we get to express the venom and hostility we really feel inside, surrounded by a group of people who are doing exactly the same thing, so that no one person is any more to blame than any other?
So one person is violated and torn to shreds in order to serve the emotional needs of the mob. When passersby see this, they join right in. It doesn’t even matter what it’s about or if it concerns them in any way. Like sharks smelling blood in the water, they leap into the fray, all their civilization and objectivity cast off like shackles. It’s liberating.
And that, I think, is the truth about human nature. People are only decent and civilized as long as there’s more reward in it than in being brutal savages. As soon as an opportunity arises to cast off that social conditioning and let the animal lose, without fear of serious reprisal, all pretense of nobility and morality are forgotten in the sheer cathartic passion of the moment. Some people would call that a temporary suspension of humanity, but I think those people overestimate human virtue. I think it it’s PURE humanity, nothing more and nothing less.
Karen B responded on 04 Aug 2010 at 12:03 am #
Sweetie, if you let these assholes affect who you are, I will be mad at you and possibly forced to kill someone. You don’t want that on your conscience, do you? Seriously, you are a good person with a clear vision of the Universe and an articulate, funny, snarky voice that I love. Ignore the haters. L&K raised you right!!
Brittany responded on 04 Aug 2010 at 12:22 am #
Hi Kate,
I have had your blog on my googlereader for a while, and read it every time you post something new. However, I am still breaking out of my commenting shell…so this is my first comment on your blog to date (…I think!).
Anyway, I love reading your blog. I think you write about meaningful issues that people often skip over. I also like that you connect everything to your own everyday life and make it all interesting and real! Everything you write just strikes me as being so honest and straightforward, it’s awesome.
So, my point is- please don’t let all the negative comments get you down. I think you’ve got more lovers than haters!
Brittany
Wei Wei responded on 04 Aug 2010 at 12:41 am #
I will admit that I’m sensitive too, but usually I don’t let myself show it. I uses to think that goring up meant that you were completely independent, didn’t care what anyone thoughtless, didn’t need friends to survive… And I played everything safe and became a people pleaser. I care about what other people think of me, and I care a lot. It shows in the feedback I give and my behaviour too, because I’m so scared of offending others and making myself look insensitive, stupid, or mean.
It’s so much easier to pretend and be detached from reality and other people on the internet, which is something I really really dislike about it. I would rather meet face to face,or even just talk on the phone, with somebody. Sometimes I don’t think th computer is worth it! There are so many people out there who just write about living and don’t actually live it, and I don’t want to think of myself as one of those people.
Wei Wei
Tempest responded on 04 Aug 2010 at 9:21 am #
For lack of a less-fluffy woo-woo sounding word, you’re empathic. You not only consider your own thoughts and feelings, but those of others as well, so you generally refrain from making actions that would hurt others. This is a quality I find that many people lack (being in touch with both themselves and others), hence the negativity/stupid/angry comments out there. And for them, it’s not about “telling the truth” as they like to say, as it is about getting their own frustrations out.
There’s a great cartoon out there showing someone trying to comment on a youtube video, and as it posts, the computer reads aloud back to them what they wrote, And the person goes (head in hands) “I had no idea”. I think that sums it up pretty well. If most people had to have said back to them what they say to others over the internet, it would be a different place.
Erika @ Health and Happiness in LA responded on 04 Aug 2010 at 11:41 am #
Wow that story about the dorm has really freaked me out. I’ve seen things like that, too, but just the image gets to me. And I do find it baffling because I am definitely NOT like that.
And it’s always worse on the internet. People don’t think of a real person on the other side of that e-mail address or blog post and they say the most horrible things they can think of. Actually the worst example of this I know is when one of my friends died in college and two facebook groups sprung up making fun of him and the way he died. It was so horrifying and sad. I remember I burst into tears and started screaming when I saw it because I was so sad and angry all at once. I actually tracked down the home phone number of one of the group’s founders and called his parents to let them know how their kid was spending his time at college (the group was taken down later that day).
bobbie responded on 04 Aug 2010 at 12:12 pm #
It takes so much energy to be negative and mean. Those poor people have nothing better to do with their time. I really do believe that most of them hurt and insult others to make themselves feel better… about themselves.
Amy responded on 04 Aug 2010 at 2:11 pm #
Kate! I serious wish I could write a guest post for you titled ‘7 reasons I love the haters’.
1. First of all, it puts you in the company of some of the very best bloggers, like Penelope. Your hate notes probably look like love notes compared to some of the mail she’s gotten!
2. At least your work is getting recognition. You are an artist, right? Some people are going to love what you do and some are going to hate it. Would you prefer that it not be seen, or no reaction at all? It is unrealistic to think everyone will agree with what you have to say…and, if they did, then it really wouldn’t be worth saying.
3. Haters remind me how lucky I am. You were not raised to be hateful or mean. You were raised in a kind nurturing environment. Haters were raised by angry critical people and that’s why they are now angry and critical too. You should call your mother and thank her.
Should I go on???
You want haters. You need haters. Because it makes you realize that you are not just a nice average person. You’re special. And they’re not.
That’s why they’re haters.
But I’m still sorry if they hurt your feelings.
Amy
San D responded on 04 Aug 2010 at 5:52 pm #
I say this to my art and theater students all the time “you can not savor the people who agree with you and not those who don’t”. I say this for them to realize that perception is a big part of what we do. When one creates art, we assume that we are putting out the message of our intent, never for a moment thinking about how it is received because afterall, we KNOW what we are talking about. Those who disagree are telling us something about our communication skills, about what we are saying, how we are saying it. If you paint a painting and your intent is for the viewer to understand your intent, you have to make sure that your thesis statement is matched with your line, shape, value, etc. in the work. And so it is with blogging. People will infer meaning from what you write, and what you have revealed in your previous posts. All words are clues to them. Blogging opens you up to opinion from everyone, no holds barred. Unless of course you make your blog private, like a diary. But by exposing your blog to everyone, expect people to have opinions and reactions to everything from your beautiful face, to your redefining feminism.
Marte responded on 05 Aug 2010 at 2:51 pm #
Wow. I don’t cry a lot. Because I’m generally not so sensitive. But this moved me to some tears at the vulnerability and utter beauty of what you had to say. So, just wanted to say thanks for sharing it.