I cut off all my hair
last night, I had a dream about looking in a mirror and thinking, “You would look amazing if you cut your hair off.”
And then this morning, when Bear forgot his insulin and I brought it to his office and I had a hat over my greasy hair because I’d just woken up, he said playfully, “You should cut off your hair. You’d look so cute.”
And then I was back home, later this morning, working on yet another article, and suddenly I got up and went into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror for a full minute, or maybe slightly longer, and I thought, “It’s so annoying how it gets knotted every time I wear my coat.” Which is all the time, because it’s winter.
I went into the other room and got the scissors with the blue handles. I came back into the bathroom and before I could think anything that meant anything, I cut off a huge chunk of my hair. In the front.
I kept cutting.
I felt great. I was grinning at myself. The more I cut, the better I looked. The better I felt.
After a while, I took a break and washed it and dried it. The drying part took like a minute. My mom called. We talked about how our weeks were going. I mentioned that I was cutting my hair.
“Oh no,” she said. “Professionally, I hope?”
“No, right now. While we’re talking.”
“Are you joking?”
“Nope. I’m definitely cutting it right now.”
There was a bushy patch that the headset was obscuring.
“You know you have a job,” she said, and then, “Or several.”
“Your scare tactics aren’t working.”
She burst out laughing. “Fine.”
I’ve thought about cutting my hair for a while. I wrote about really short hair and shaved heads here. But then I thought, “There’s the wedding. I can’t have really short hair in the pictures.” And then I thought, “It’s the winter, I’ll be cold.” And all along I thought, “I should really lose a little weight before I do it, because short hair looks better on skinny people.”
Which is why I’m glad that I just did it. As soon as I finished, I ate a bunch of Fig Newmans (those things are really not at all healthy, even though they have “organic” written all over the packaging), and I wondered why I hadn’t done this sooner.
When I watched a documentary about New York City preschools, all of the teachers and administrators over forty had short hair. All of the young, stylish moms had long hair. When I went out to meet Bear (who was very impressed) and a friend for dinner, I noticed that I was the only young woman in sight with really short hair.
Ha! Whatever! I cut off my hair!
* * *
Un-roast: Today I love the way I look with my stick-up boy hair. Come on, you saw that coming.
P.S. I wrote this piece last night. That’s why the timing sounds off. But I left it that way, because it sounded better.
Kate on January 14th 2011 in Uncategorized
Just Josie responded on 15 Jan 2011 at 6:01 pm #
Sorry, just had to add that I think the following highly ironic when one considering the title of your entire blog: “We can’t always have our cake and eat it too.” Ahahahaha! xD
Also, don’t feel bad, I’ve gone to public school my whole life, and I only JUST learned about these crazy “brush” things (?!) like, LAST YEAR. What an invention!
(I love sardonicism.)
Just Josie responded on 15 Jan 2011 at 6:02 pm #
consider should be with an ‘s’, not an ‘ing’. That is all.
Linda responded on 15 Jan 2011 at 8:01 pm #
I have always wanted hair just like that. I don’t think it would work for me, because mine doesn’t have enough curl. But I would cut it all off in a second if I thought I would look even half as cute. You did a fantastic job, amazing! A professional stylist couldn’t have done better.
Jill responded on 15 Jan 2011 at 9:00 pm #
My 10 yr. old unschooled daughter says, “Wow! Her hair looks so awesome!” She also approved of your long hair too. We also enjoyed your recent article, “I Was Homeschooled.”
Anne responded on 15 Jan 2011 at 9:35 pm #
My 16 year old unschooled son shaved his hair off on Christmas Eve. We said goodnight to him with a full head of hair, and on Christmas morning he came downstairs bald! He looked so pleased and proud, & once I was over the initial shock I couldn’t help but be happy for him. His hair was beautiful! But he was so ready for a change, he had been wanting to do it for two years, but his cousin/hair stylist always said, “lets do it this way now, and if you still want to next time we’ll do it then”……He knew it wasn’t going to happen, so he just did it. A friend that shaves his head asked him, “Okay, what was the first thought you had when you were done?”, and he said, “I’m cold!” Our friend said that the first thought he had the first time he shaved his head was, “Oh God, what have I done!”, but my son has not had a moment of regret. I could have used a little warning…and a few more pictures of the way it was, but really, I am just very happy for him. I think doing something like that is very empowering, and that’s always a good thing. You look beautiful! We also loved your article, “I was homeschooled”.
OMSH responded on 15 Jan 2011 at 9:36 pm #
A while back, when I first started going grey, I thought…I gotta color this mop, I’m too young to be grey.
But about 8 years ago, when I turned 30, I said “Screw it” and grey out the grey. I kept it short (really short) for years and recently grew it out for the very reason you cut yours off.
Why not?
Everyone said I’d look old and not-so-fashionable, but I wanted to give it a go. And I love it.
So GOOD FOR YOU.
And you look great.
Elly responded on 16 Jan 2011 at 10:15 am #
How gorgeous! (not that you weren’t gorgeous with long hair, too…) Must admit that when you started talking about cutting your hair I thought you meant more around shoulder-length…probably because that’s the way I occasionally envision cutting my own hair. And then I saw the pictures! Awesome that you were brave enough to do it.
AW responded on 16 Jan 2011 at 12:15 pm #
Love the short ‘do. It is very cute. I’ve cut my own hair many times, too.
Roxanne responded on 16 Jan 2011 at 11:52 pm #
You look so hot! 😀 Beautiful, Kate. ^^
Virginia responded on 17 Jan 2011 at 12:42 am #
You look so great! I also went through a super short hairstyle phase and have been tempted to revisit that cut lately. Congratulations on having enough guts to go for it!
stacie responded on 17 Jan 2011 at 10:21 am #
Awesome! You are SO brave. You look fantastic. I don’t know if I would have the nerve to do the same thing. I haven’t gotten a “professional” haircut in about 3 years. My hubby has trimmed it once.
My hair is to my rear end now and I think a haircut would almost be like mourning the death of someone (or something) I loved. I am also of the “short hair looks better on slim people” camp so I wouldn’t be able to pull it off.
I dunno, I cut my hair once many, many years ago while I was a working mom and LOTS of the ladies from our company told me “thank you” for cutting my hair because it gave them the courage to do the same. Many of them did cut their hair.
I think as women we become so attached to our security blanket of hair. Do whatever feels right to you. The length of your hair doesn’t make you more or less feminine. For right now I am keeping my long locks.
Cindy responded on 17 Jan 2011 at 11:09 am #
sooooooooooooooooooooo cute!
I hack my own hair ! I love doing that!
good for you chica!!!!!
Patti in Memphis TN responded on 17 Jan 2011 at 1:20 pm #
Girl….WOW This is my first visit to your blog and I can’t believe how great you look with that short, sexy hair. I have never had long hair because I have “bad” hair. I always felt like the odd ball because it just didn’t look good long. I decided several years ago to go really short and have loved every minute of it. I have people come up to me all the time and tell me how much they LOVE my short hair. It allows you to never have to worry about what you are going to do with your hair because it will only do one thing….be very short. I love it!!
Mandy responded on 17 Jan 2011 at 3:22 pm #
You know what? I think you look feisty!
Tempest responded on 17 Jan 2011 at 3:29 pm #
I cut my hair really short last month (ok, specifically LuLu cut my hair off…) and I love it. I’ve swung between bobs and long hair most of life – I dare say this is the shortest it’s been since kindergarten, though I had been afraid to do it b/c I do have very large eyes and a nose to match, but it worked out 🙂
It does feel more “adult” at times, but it also seems pretty hip and crazy at others. It’s all what you bring to it.
I could see your bangs being a little longer in the front (and it looks like your hair is a lot like mine, so it’ll probably be there in 2-3 weeks) for the most perfect framing, love the length on the back and sides.
Dawn responded on 17 Jan 2011 at 7:02 pm #
That is awesome! The ornery twinkle in your eye–was that always there–or did the cool haircut give you another dimension of attitude?
In any case, you pull it off beautifully. And think of all the time and money you saved by NOT paying for beauty or barber school.
nestforawren responded on 17 Jan 2011 at 8:20 pm #
First…love your short haircut! Second..I am a homeschooling mom of 40 plus a few. I read your article about unschooling and loved it. Thank you! Third…if my son is as self-aware and comfortable in his skin as you are (forever) I will feel I have done my job and fulfilled my soul mission in the mother part of my life. Give your mom a hug from me. She was brave too. Fourth…you have 66 comments on this post! If I ever get 5 on my whole blog I’ll faint from the sheer joy of it. Keep feeling good in your skin my dear, you are light years ahead of me.
Jen responded on 18 Jan 2011 at 10:46 am #
The best part? You have quite a nose and still wear short hair beautifully. I’m a tall woman w/a long forehead and a big nose. It is gratifying–and a relief–so see there are women who are beautiful even WITH short hair and WITHOUT tiny Barbie-snub noses.
Jen responded on 18 Jan 2011 at 10:47 am #
The best part? You have quite a nose and still wear short hair beautifully. I’m a tall woman w/a long forehead and a big nose. It is gratifying–and a relief–to see there are women who are beautiful even WITH short hair and WITHOUT tiny Barbie-snub noses.
Jen responded on 18 Jan 2011 at 10:59 am #
Sorry to have gone on about your nose when I just read further down the blog and found “nose” was The Topic just a couple weeks ago.
As a woman with a big nose, I look for people like you to keep from feeling like the exception. (Mine is long with a bump on the bridge; I’m not even Jewish). I have a photo of a gorgeous Italian woman with a similar nose just to look at when I’m feeling homely. My husband loves my nose and says his Italian grandfather would consider mine “a bit inadequate” in size. So still–love that you refrained from the 3rd surgery and love that you can wear that hair. ~Jen
Kate responded on 18 Jan 2011 at 12:05 pm #
@Jen
Thanks for this. I can’t believe I forgot to mention that having a big nose was one of the reasons I hesitated for so long before cutting my hair.
erika responded on 18 Jan 2011 at 12:14 pm #
Wandered over to your blog today from another site. I am really enjoying it all! And I dig the hair. You did such a great job! Funny thing is I’ve wanted long hair forever, and it’s finally grown, and these past few days I’ve been dreaming about short hair too!
Erin responded on 18 Jan 2011 at 3:01 pm #
Okay. I have been inspired by your hair (and Ginnifer Godwin’s hair in the Jan/Feb issue of Health) and am going to go shorter than I am currently (my bangs are the longest part (as previously stated) slightly past eyes). So this is how short my hair will be (http://www.celebritymagascene.com/2010/12/-big-love-actress-ginnifer.html) I’m a little apprehensive cause it’s never been this short but I am committed 😀
Rebecca responded on 18 Jan 2011 at 5:40 pm #
!!!!!
This looks FANTASTIC on you!
(as did the long hair, by the by)
Don’t you love just running your fingers through it now?
And the feeling of no hair on the back of your neck?
You look seriously sexy, chica.
lauren responded on 19 Jan 2011 at 1:22 am #
so fun!
Nubby Tongue responded on 19 Jan 2011 at 3:20 am #
I’ve been wishy-washing about chopping all my hair off for a few months, too. Since I’m looking for a gentle shove one way or the other, I’ll take this as a sign. =]
Looks great!
Kate responded on 19 Jan 2011 at 12:53 pm #
@Erin and Nubby
That’s awesome!! I’m flattered that I inspired you. And you should totally go for it.
Kate responded on 19 Jan 2011 at 12:55 pm #
@Rebecca
Yes. I LOVE running my fingers through it. And waking up without any knots or hair falling all over my face. So freeing!
Tara responded on 19 Jan 2011 at 1:33 pm #
I think your short hair looks fantastic!
Morgan responded on 19 Jan 2011 at 2:53 pm #
Your hair is fantastic!
I just wanted to say that your blog inspired me to run a spread on redefining today’s standard of beauty (which is usually almost unattainable thinness) in our high school newspaper. (Since National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is a week after our distribution date, we figured it would be exceptionally timely.) With this spread we’re aiming to reaffirm positive body image and foster a pride in one’s natural, God-given beauty. Thank you so much for reinforcing that mindset with your un-roasts and pride in who you are. You give me hope for the future of female standards.
Keep posting, I’m loving what you write!
-Morgan
MWN responded on 19 Jan 2011 at 3:48 pm #
Wow, Kate, it really looks great!!! So cute! You look very different in short hair, as if you have a whole different personality. It does make you look very self-assured and spunky.
I’ve thought about cutting it that short as well, and I have kind of decided that I don’t have the right face shape for it…I cut it to about my ears a few years ago, and there were some stages that I loved it (and how LIGHT it is! Seriously, when I saw the movie Tangled, I was HORRIFIED by how much her hair must WEIGH and how it LITERALLY and metaphorically weighs her down and holds her back…and then a guy cuts it off without her permission…that’s a whole other discussion we could have) but most of the time I looked really butch, and I prefer to look feminine. So I wasn’t too happy with it. I wish there was some way I could TRY OUT the hairdo before committing to it, like with photoshop or something.
Suzanne responded on 19 Jan 2011 at 6:05 pm #
AH-MAZ-ING!!! MAH-JORLY good look for YOU!!!!!
Joy responded on 21 Jan 2011 at 7:09 pm #
I think longer hair is actually easier to take care of, but it’s all a personal choice.
To the poster who’s growing her hair for Locks of Love: you might want to research them a bit more. They sell most of the hair they collect and give very few wigs to young cancer patients.
Melissa Middleswart responded on 23 Jan 2011 at 10:57 am #
I just found your blog thru someone else who posted a link to the “nerd girls rule” post, which I enjoyed.
I’ve not seen a photo of your longer hair, but when I saw these photos, I thought you looked great, amazingly so since you cut it yourself! That part, I can’t imagine doing. I’m pushing 60, have had longish hair only a few times in my life, I must prefer short hair.
I was quite surprised to see some negative comments in these comments, as I think you look just great. Enjoy your hair freedom!
I’m going to send a link to my niece.
Lulubelle responded on 23 Jan 2011 at 1:34 pm #
I’m so jealous! I’m 47 with naturally curly very fine hair, which I always wore very short until about 3 years ago, when I finally toughened up and decided to let it grow. It’s taken me forever to grow it out evenly, and it curls up to just below chin-length even though it’s actually about 4 inches longer. Your hair is so cute short like this, I may have to hide all my scissors from myself today! Bravo, it’s beautiful!
Autumn responded on 25 Jan 2011 at 12:41 am #
You look fantastic!
I did much the same thing–chopped off a lot of hair on a whim, just me and my scissors–several years ago, and honestly it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I did it because I wanted to see what I looked like if I made myself “ugly” (I was a long-hair do or die until that very moment)–and lo and behold, short hair is becoming. On me and a lot of women–it lets us show our faces instead of hide them. I say this same thing to other women who would say “Oh, I could never get away with that”–as if it’s a miniature bank robbery instead of a haircut–and nobody ever believes me. Your pictures here are proof!
I’m back to long hair right now, though. It’s fucking cold out there.
Emmi responded on 15 Mar 2011 at 2:23 pm #
I am a fan of the ‘do! It brings out your eyes.
Rac responded on 05 Apr 2011 at 3:47 pm #
Looks pretty good, but I still LOVE long hair on women.
Eat the Damn Cake » Going all the way responded on 24 Jun 2011 at 3:01 pm #
[…] keep telling me I’m so bold, for cutting off as much as I did, last time. For having short hair in the first place. But what I’d really wanted was something much […]
Eat the Damn Cake » going braless responded on 15 Aug 2011 at 12:48 pm #
[…] reason why I didn’t want to do yet another hair post was because I am afraid of seeming kind of obsessed. I think a reader left a comment to this effect […]