My tampons are going extinct
Tampons are a great invention. They make my life a lot better. I’ve been thinking about them in a slightly different way since I wrote about how the elvyn women in their magical, pristinely forested world would probably not have any. And it makes me thankful to be human.
But here is where I am not very good at being human: most tampons scare me.
(source)
I’m young, but over the course of the time I’ve had any interest in them, tampons have evolved in dramatic, flagrantly unnatural ways. They went from chunks of fibrous white stuff in a heavy paper shell to sleek plastic tubes that cradle a molded dollop of synthetic cloth. They look like vicious little pink bullets. You’re supposed to shoot up.
The other day, I went to the corner Duane Reade, and they were out. Of the ONLY kind I’m not scared of. O.B. The kind that hasn’t changed at all. The simple kind, that’s just the actual tampon, without a sexy stainless steel machine that catapults it into your innards, or a fuchsia leopard print trigger, or three layers of wickedly sharp plastic shaped like flower petals that peel away from the nose of the missile when you eject it.
There were rows of gleaming Tampax and Playtex and Kotex, and if there are other brands with an “x” at the end, I’m sure they were there too. The boxes were bigger, more menacing, taunting me wide, pearly pink smirks.
I went to the little drugstore a few blocks down. Nothing. ONE BOX of the old fashioned Tampax, with the hulking paper applicators. One of those things is like a particularly grueling visit to the gynecologist.
CVS reserved a spot for O.B. on a top shelf. It was empty. I began to feel angry. The city was depriving me of something incredibly basic. I felt betrayed. And vulnerable. But mostly angry.
I realized I had never noticed how many other tampons had cluttered up the market. Posing, evil, smug tampons with their tricks and their accessories. I felt alone. The only woman left who didn’t mind touching her own body, rather than injecting the tampon through a foot of peach-scented plastic. Which is really too harsh. I’m sure those women are really nice. And normal. And I know plenty of them. And they just don’t want to get any blood on their hands, which is pretty understandable. And they learned somehow how to administer the injections without hesitation or fear. I am the minority, after all. They are the ones who run the world. So what do I know?
I rushed to the next store, a grocery store, desperate now. I was being edged out of the market by a horde of sleek, silent women who loved plastic applicators. If I complained, other women would give me a little pitying smile, and reflexively pat their stylish purses, where their supply of Playtex never dwindled. They’d think to themselves, “What a primitive little thing she is. Might as well be using moss!”
Finally, defeated, I went home.
I told Bear about everything. He was as sympathetic as a guy can be. He said, “Why don’t we just order a lot of them online?”
I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of that. Online tampons? It really is a new world. We paged through website after website until we found the perfect selection. And we ordered them.
I felt a little safer. And also extremely thankful for pads.
(source)
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Un-roast: Today I love the way I look in red.
Post at Un-schooled, about reading Bird by Bird and realizing I don’t have as much in common as Anne Lamott as I’d hoped.
Kate on February 1st 2011 in Uncategorized
anna and the ring responded on 02 Feb 2011 at 12:26 pm #
Pads are the work of evil.
I find the cheaper the tampon the fewer the bells of whistles and therefore wonderful! Own brand from Boots (UK Chemist) or Tesco (supermarket). I love you!
Although have always been intrigues by a mooncup!
B1 responded on 02 Feb 2011 at 1:13 pm #
Kate, anyone reading your blog should be able to understand that you are writing the way you see the world and for many we see it the same way, not on all topics, because we are all different and have different points of views. I love your writings even when I don’t agree because if I agreed with everything you wrote, I would not be intrigued enough to read more and learn more of how someone else views the world in which I live.
Regarding the Diva Cup, I did some research yesterday on it and found that the best price is through Amazon. I’m going to order one and see how it works. From the rave reviews, I think I will probably like it much better. Thanks ladies!
Kate responded on 02 Feb 2011 at 1:15 pm #
Thanks, B1. That means a lot to me.
And I think I’ll try it, too, just to see. I can’t believe how much I learned about menstrual products from these comments! You guys are awesome.
Mimi responded on 02 Feb 2011 at 5:02 pm #
first-time commenter here!
I just had to say that O.B. are the best and I totally agree that everything else is scary! Especially those “hipster tampons” in black and neon colors. Plus, after years of O.B., all the plastic in applicators just seems like a terrible waste.
Your blog is awesome, thank you for opening up so much about your life!
Mere responded on 03 Feb 2011 at 12:59 am #
I am seriously bookmarking this blog. Love it. Love that we can laugh about something that is such a pain in the…! I don’t want to be ‘exclusionary’ and mention which side I am on (sorry..couldn’t resist..honestly it was a light tease not a nasty snark) but now I am so glad that I read all about the diva cup. I am totally looking it up. Cross fingers it’s somewhere over here in little ole NZ.
And btw..you may have to put up with comments from me all the way back to whenever you started cos I’m dying to read everything for fear of having missed anything.
N.G. responded on 03 Feb 2011 at 6:55 am #
Huh. I can only use the tampons with an applicator and my preference is…Tampax…with the hulking paper applicators…
I used to feel like I should be able to put the non-applicator ones in but I never felt like they sat comfortably in the right spot and then I used to feel as though everyone else could insert a tampon without an applicator except me. Now, I just try to remember that everyone is different and not worry about what other people do, and just do what suits me.
(I also bought a keeper to try to switch to that, but I cannot seem to get it small enough to insert it without it hurting.)
SKetch responded on 03 Feb 2011 at 12:58 pm #
You are not alone! I love using pure cotton-no chemical tampons that size! I get mine at the health food store, too. Cardboard applicators be—-canonized. Plastic applicators? Perish the thought! Ew. Ew. I am woman, hear me grunt and insert a cotton wad mine own self. :3
threegoodrats responded on 03 Feb 2011 at 12:59 pm #
Once upon a time I used the wasteful applicator-style tampons, and then I went to Scotland for 5 months and ALL (or most of) their tampons were applicator-less. I started using them and never went back to the old kind. These days I love my diva cup, but use o.b. as a backup.
Just Josie responded on 03 Feb 2011 at 5:22 pm #
This is riotous. (That’s a word, yes?) I am ashamed to admit that I have a phobia of tampons, and of the Divacup. I sometimes fear it’s only because I’m a virgin, and so I’m terrified of putting anything in my vagina. It’s nothing to do with purity, though, I’m just terrified it’ll hurt, and that it’ll get lost inside of me. And then I feel gross and like a pawn of the patriarchy because that means that, theoretically, I won’t feel okay with putting things inside of me unless a male puts his phallus inside of me first… *And how gross a concept is that? Baaaad Josie. Bad, bad, BAD. :s
I use Lunapads. They’re reusable, washable pads. Mainly it’s a for-the-environment thing. I started when I went vegan. Which wasn’t long after I starting getting periods, actually. Plus, I’m completely uninterested by like, “mainstream” (?) tampons and pads because they have bleach which one should not be putting down there, and also bleach is tested on animals. Also, I refuse to use anything from the Always chain, because the head of that company is a man, and he has the audacity to say, “Always: Have a happy period.” He is riotous! 😀 >.<
*To make a (probably unnecessary) clarification, it's not the thought of sex I find repulsive; it's the idea that I may not be comfortable with placing something inside of my vagina without a male first doing so. That just buys straight into the Big P. *shudder*
Barbara responded on 05 Feb 2011 at 12:15 pm #
I also thought you were going to talk about menstrual cups! 🙂 I’ve been using the Lunette (www.lunette.com) for half a year now – and I love it! I’ll never switch back + regret only that I didn’t discovered them earlier. Check them out!
Also, your blog isn’t condemning anyone at all. I think it’d be very boring to include everyone and to agree with everyone…I’m reading here, because I’m interested in opinion and arguments.
Thanks for writing. 🙂
Nadja responded on 05 Feb 2011 at 4:27 pm #
I had an outright panic attack when that shortage hit me! I have now bought a couple boxes to horde in the event that something ever happens to my precious tampons again…
Laurel responded on 05 Feb 2011 at 6:09 pm #
@Amy and any others with heavy periods, DivaCup would be excellent for you! It holds one fluid ounce. I have a moderate/light flow, and even on my heaviest days it’s only about half full after 12 hours. It is also way less irritating than changing a tampon frequently, because the DivaCup is silicone, so it never dries you out.
Deanna responded on 06 Feb 2011 at 11:00 pm #
The diva cup has changed my life! 🙂 I used to use ob tampons, too, but came across an ad for the diva cup in a magazine. LOVE it! Takes a couple of days to “practice” putting it in correctly but after that it’s a breeze. You don’t feel it, you can leave it in all day and no worrying about being out somewhere and not having a tampon.
AND, I love that I don’t have to have any back-up panty-lines like I used to with tampons in case of that dreaded “overflow”. Wish I’d had this 20 years ago!! Just think of all the hygiene products I’ve contributed to the landfill…but no more!
Louise, aged 15 responded on 07 Feb 2011 at 3:58 am #
I know I’m very weird but tampons freak me out!
Heather responded on 07 Feb 2011 at 5:12 pm #
I started out using Kotex, because it was what my mom handed me, and then consequently had a terrible experience with a cardboard applicator when desperate and in a foreign country- I’m totally okay with my exploding plastic tips. I now use the DivaCup (which you’ve gotten tons of rec’s for now- once I started grad school and got even more absent minded, it was pretty necessary, since I started to worry that I was forgetting to take one out- mine are really light, so I wouldn’t always wear them. And as someone who’s never touched an o.b. and has large boobs, I don’t feel excluded by your blog 🙂 Wanted to let you know.
Kate responded on 07 Feb 2011 at 6:52 pm #
@Louise
tampons freaked me out, too, around your age
Kate responded on 07 Feb 2011 at 6:53 pm #
@Heather
Thanks for letting me know 🙂
Pretty Price Check (02.11.11) | Beauty Schooled responded on 11 Feb 2011 at 9:08 am #
[…] a box of the suddenly scarce OB tampons on the black market (otherwise known as Amazon). Ladies (especially you, Kate) I’ve got six OB tampons left in my bathroom cabinet and I accept all forms of payment […]
Mindy responded on 22 Feb 2011 at 5:03 pm #
Hear hear! I was equally upset when I found ob was off the shelf. I found some lingering in a Walgreens, but I may just have to try the online thing if I don’t find them again.