Appreciation
Appreciating what you have is hard. People, as a group, are generally pretty bad at it. They are, however, good at pointing out how ridiculous it is in other people. “He cheated on her?! But she’s a supermodel!! I would NEVER EVER cheat on a woman like that.” We wonder why Paris Hilton is so bored, when she has everything. Why famous people have problems, too. If we didn’t wonder, all those supermarket rags wouldn’t be in business. “Did Jen really lose thirty-five lbs when BF split w/ much younger woman?!” would not be a question we’d care to have answered for us.
If we appreciated what we had, the beauty industries would suffer. Women would stop trying every day to look a little more like someone else. We’d be thinking things like, “See how easily I walked across that room? I’m in such good health. I don’t feel any pain, anywhere right now.” We’d be thinking things like, “It’s so cool that all these people I don’t even know lived long enough to reproduce and their kids lived long enough to reproduce and finally there was me.”
It might become bad for society at the point when we start sitting around staring at our hands in awe going, “It’s so intricate…”
Or maybe that would be good for society. Hard to tell.
Anyway, it’s clear that I could be more appreciative. To start working on that, I decided to take a walk.
I walked alone across the park and through the city with my camera. I made myself focus on details. I thought about how old this place is. How many people have had birthdays here. Have lived out their entire lives. Have changed the world here. Have been in love here. Have struggled and given up and somehow tried again.
It’s a little shocking, how many subtle, lovely things are scattered throughout my day. One of the reasons I love this city is that its appearance mimics life– complicated, messy, unapologetic, random, beautiful from a distance, endlessly intricate up close, with fascinating stuff clawing up out of every crack and shadow. With moments of startling calm and everywhere you look, if you actually take the time to look.
What happens when you look at your day? Can you find anything stunning? Anything surprisingly peaceful?
* * *
Un-roast: Today I love the way I feel when I’m outside.
And, for International Women’s Day, I’m going to the Brooklyn Bridge to take pictures of what’s going on there. People are gathering on bridges all over the world. Check it out!
Kate on March 8th 2011 in Uncategorized
rachel responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 11:31 am #
I miss New York. Lots of people don’t like the city because it makes them feel small. That small feeling is what I love about it. I love the knowledge that so many people are going about their lives right around me – that so many people were there before. It’s inspiring.
Can’t wait to see your photos of people on the bridge!
Autumn responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 12:02 pm #
>It might become bad for society at the point when we start sitting around staring at our hands in awe going, “It’s so intricate…”<
Wasn't that 1969?
You know, I'm beginning to wonder how much the beauty industry would suffer. I do think that things like anti-aging creams wouldn't sell if we had a greater appreciation of our authentic selves. Also: HD foundation, concealer, basically the products that are made to disguise, not reveal or lend a sense of play.
But the more I talk to various women, the more I see that a big part of playing with beauty IS appreciation. I mean, my nails are currently done up in a "manicure of the sea"–they're this shimmery light blue with silver and lavender undertones, and it's beautiful, but it doesn't make *me* more beautiful, you know? I suspect that if we all woke up with the wonderful sense of appreciation you're expressing here, we'd see that the beauty industry began to cater to that sense of joy and inherent beauty. (Or am I living in 1969? Beads, flowers, freedom, happiness?!)
Andrea responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 12:23 pm #
I think this quote from Einstein is appropriate here: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
Liz Nord responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 12:41 pm #
Hi Kate,
I am LOVING all the pictures you have been including! I especially like the ice over the water pictures. 🙂 I’m posting some tropical pictures tomorrow!
xx
Samantha responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 12:47 pm #
What a wonderful way to look at the world to see beauty. When I’m out with my camera I usually see all the things that I miss through my lens. I also notice that I see beauty with the weather. The weather changes a lot here in Seattle. Sometime I’m always amazed when I can see all the mountains when it’s clear out, how beautiful the city is after snow, or the rainbows that appear in the mists behind cars when it is sunny and raining.
Katie responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 2:40 pm #
i love love love this! i wrote a blog about my favorite little parts of life too recently: http://bit.ly/hzKvpn it’s all about appreciating the details — thanks for the reminder!
Kate responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 3:19 pm #
@Autumn
Yeah, that was a little joke… 🙂
And that would be cool, to have the beauty industry cater to, well, me. I do like playing around with lipstick sometimes. And I did wear turquoise nail polish at my wedding.
Kate responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 3:21 pm #
@Katie
Thanks for sharing! Love it.
Lilli responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 3:34 pm #
Kate… i don’t really have anything meaningful to add, but i just wanted to say you’re pretty amazing, properly inspiring.
And… i do occasionally get that sense of history, of being part of something bigger, and i whenever i think about that, it makes me happy, because i always think everything’s a bit of a cycle, so the happiness i have in my life now, has been enjoyed by someone before me, and will be enjoyed by someone long after i’m gone, and when any memory of me has been forgotten, that little bit of happiness will still be floating around, making other people smile, and maybe they’ll wonder who had it before them…?
I do think people should appreciate more, one of the most inspiring people i know is a very close friend of mine, she’s the same age as me, but she’s grown up with a younger brother with a severe (and terminal) disability, and a lot of people don’t understand why she is the way she is, because she’s quite cold, shut off from people, but i’ve seen her interact with her little brother, and seen the happiness he gives her, and that gives everything a whole new perspective, and makes me appreciate her more, but also the ease with which i actually live more…
xxx
Deanna responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 3:39 pm #
If we didn’t worry about beauty the beauty industry would go bust.
This is what I wonder about and I don’t see anyone commenting on it. Maybe that’s because I’m older than everyone else, but I remember in the 70s when I was a teen we all took care of ourselves and wore some lipstick, but the beauty bar was very low. Think of the models and actresses of that decade…there were so few who could remember. Most of the movie stars were regular looking, but they could act. The singers were ordinary looking, not like the beauties they are today.
Also, I don’t think men were chasing after much younger women like they do today. I don’t recall all these old guys chasing after me when I was 20 and if they had, I’d tell them to go chase someone age appropriate. Now it seems like all these 60 year old men have 30 year old wives or mistresses and all these over 50 year old women are alone.
I’m rambling here but it’s something that really bothers me. I’ve been told I need to spend more money on minor procedures like laser and Botox to keep looking young. I always thought I did look young..at least much younger than my age but for the first time ever, someone guessed my age at 43 which isn’t that much younger than I am.
Why is it that the feminist movement tried so hard to allow women to excel at things, to focus on education, to be good at what you do only to have young women who dance on tables, strip for men and pretend to be Lesbians to turn guys on. Even in the film The Social Network these so-called Harvard girls (the smartest of them all) were doing all of this and dressing more like skanks than Ivy league students. That would have never been the case in 1980.
I’d like to see more people discuss this.
nova responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 3:51 pm #
Sometimes when my mind wanders I think about how I would explain our society to … I don’t know, say some tribe living in a jungle somewhere. Where would I even begin?
Another Kate responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 4:06 pm #
I just wanted to point out something you may not have noticed: in the picture of the “beauty” window, your reflection is visible in the background. The imagery there is quite cool.
Kate responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 4:09 pm #
@Another Kate
Hey other Kate!
And yup! I felt really artsy about that.
Brittany responded on 08 Mar 2011 at 8:00 pm #
I would just like to say YAY CANADA GEESE!! I totally appreciate them. :o)
Dawn responded on 09 Mar 2011 at 5:46 am #
I loved the photos. I needed the words. I appreciated the message…simple wisdom, yet so powerful.
Michelle responded on 09 Mar 2011 at 10:44 am #
I admit to getting caught up in the hustle of the city. But every once in a while I do just this. I should really change that to happen more often… It really is the details that make this city great
E responded on 09 Mar 2011 at 10:45 am #
I love this post. I tend to spend a lot of time appreciating things, I think; even when I was a kid I was still conscious of how incredibly lucky I was to have parents who loved me and gave me everything I needed. I also definitely do things like stare at my hands and appreciate the intricacy — I chose to study molecular biology in college entirely because of the absolute wonder I experience when I think about how amazing life is. (Side note: I think that wonder is what leads some people to religion; it leads me to science in order to understand it.)
I’m pretty sure I also appreciate my body that lets me move through and experience life, my brain that lets me think about this kind of thing. But even so, I still enjoy my daily beauty routines. I tend to be a pretty self-confident person, but yeah, I blow dry my hair and wear makeup every day. I don’t think that detracts from my appreciation of myself or my body. I’m not trying to make myself beautiful so that I’ll be worthwhile; I just enjoy makeup.
The pictures you posted are great. I, too, sometimes have moments of wonder when I look around me and realize that even Providence, RI is beautiful.
Eat the Damn Cake » So smokin’ contradictory responded on 09 Mar 2011 at 11:48 am #
[…] I’m appreciative, though (remember yesterday? Don’t think I’ve forgotten already. I’m on a roll here). It was really fun, […]
Louise, aged 15 responded on 11 Mar 2011 at 10:17 pm #
New York looks amazing – I’d love to visit the U.S.A at some point!