Herpes
I have it. I am a carrier. I was bitten by the hideous herpes bug. And it is gross. For most of my life, I’ve gotten blisters on my lips, usually when I was already feeling a little sick. Sometimes when I was really stressed. Sometimes just for fun, when I least suspected it. I canceled my first date with Bear because of herpes. I didn’t want him to see me like that.
The majority of people in the country are supposed to have herpes, but everyone acts like it’s a kinda big deal anyway. There are a lot of jokes with a herpes punchline. I’ve made a few of them myself. But I’ve also felt like I couldn’t say the word aloud in reference to myself. I said, “fever blister” or “cold sore.” I hated the thought of being connected with something that… infected sounding. I was afraid people might think I had the other kind of herpes. The even more offensive kind.
Here’s my story: when I was seven my uncle gave me herpes. I have never entirely forgiven him. We were visiting and he kissed my cheek and the corner of my mouth because my face was pretty small, and I noticed that he had a little bump on his lip. And pretty soon, painful swelling tugged my lips into horrible shapes.
Because, as I mentioned before, I’m a wimp, I never got a little blister. They were always mighty, ferocious, explosive blisters that attacked my lips and won easy victories. And then they celebrated for weeks. I was mortified. My parents gave me a lysine gel that did absolutely nothing. They gave me vitamin e. Mom tried drying a dish of wine, like her big book of home remedies suggested, and having me apply the skin.
When I got an outbreak, I wanted to hide in my room for a week. Sometimes I did. In college, I sometimes missed class because I didn’t want anyone to see me. And anyway, it hurt to move my mouth. I cut tomatoes out of my diet, because it seemed like they were triggering the blisters. I cut orange juice and lemons out, too, because they also seemed to inspire bursts of disease. Fantastic herpes blossoms.
A couple years ago, someone finally prescribed Valtrex for me, which is the absolute only thing that makes any difference (hooray, modern medicine!), and I felt a lot safer. And then there I was at Bear’s mother’s house, with a massive puffy white-tipped blister on my lip, visiting with his grandmother and stepbrother and about ten other important people, covered in shame and STIs.
I couldn’t hide in my room. I stood looking in the bathroom mirror for a long time. It wasn’t going to get any better. So I put on an awesome outfit and the hoop earrings that may just have to become my signature look, and pretended that nothing was wrong.
Herpes is gross, but it’s just some blisters on your lips. Or some blisters somewhere less visible. Enough with the judgment. You genital herpes sufferers are my kindred! We are part of the same viral family. We should rise up and demand respect!
But even if we don’t rise up waving herpes flags and chanting, “HER-PES! PROUD AND FREE!” maybe it’s time for us, as a culture, to move along and stop caring. I wish my uncle hadn’t given it to me, and condemned me to look like a walking sexually transmitted disease factory for life. But what are you going to do? Put on something nice and go out. I wore red, in honor of scarlet women everywhere. And because red is awesome.
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Un-roast: Today I love my wrists. They look prepared for whatever my hands will bring.
P.S. Herpes reminds me of flowers. Maybe that’s weird.
Check out my new post on Un-schooled about growing up unschooled in a hick town.
Kate on April 12th 2011 in Uncategorized
Valerie responded on 12 Apr 2011 at 11:28 am #
Ugh, I know how you feel. I’m still battling an outbreak from last week and this one is on my chin, not on my lip! Jalapenos cause outbreaks, but I can’t stay away from them. I found one topical that works, but the name is so atrocious and embarrassing that I can’t even understand why a company would call a medication for “cold sores” Herpecin! Because those of us who get them surely must want to advertise them more, right?
melle responded on 12 Apr 2011 at 12:03 pm #
I live in fear of casually smooching the wrong person for this very reason!
Alex responded on 12 Apr 2011 at 12:08 pm #
I know you said Lysine it didn’t work for you, but About 8 years ago I began taking small amounts of L-Lysine to reduce the number of canker sores I would get on the inside of my mouth (it didn’t eradicate them, but definitely reduced the amount that I would get).
Also, I religiously would get two cold sores every year; one in March and one in November. I noticed that when I was taking the L-Lysine regularly the chances of getting a cold sore was significantly reduced.
About 3 years ago I completely changed the way I ate and cut out processed sugars and refined flours from my diet. The first step was cutting out soda, which was very difficult to say the least! But, several months after faithfully leaving soda to the birds, I noticed that I was not getting canker sores at all anymore. Wow, what a relief! I decided to stop taking the L-Lysine regularly to see if the canker sores would come back, but they never did.
However, I started noticing regular recurrence of my bi-annual cold sore breakouts, which was extremely disappointing. I would take lysine regularly during a breakout, but it didn’t really seem to do much. I wasn’t really looking to take it on a daily basis to prevent future breakouts so I suffered through the breakouts for quite some time. Then during one particularly embarrassing and painful breakout, I went to my local Sprouts Farmers Market in search of cold sore lip balm. To my relief I found an all natural one that I decided to give a try: Quantum Super Lysine Cream. Wow, what a surprise! The cold sore went away in 3 days rather than 7!
This got me curious about the product and I started doing a little research on the Internet. I found a forum where somebody recommended taking 3 Quantum Super Lysine Plus capsules 3 times daily as soon as the tingling of a cold sore came on. I decided I would give this a try during the onset of my next breakout and immediately ordered some on Vitacost so that I would be prepared.
Sure enough, the following November I started getting that undeniable tingle in my lower left lip. I remembered the Super Lysine Plus and immediately popped 3 capsules, repeating 3 times daily for a week. The cold sore never broke out!!! I’ve been doing this now for a about 2 years and have been cold sore free since.
I highly recommend to anybody who suffers from cold sores to give this a try. The worst thing that can happen is that you spend 15 or so dollars and still get a cold sore. But, if you do, hopefully it will last less than the typical and dreaded 7 days!
Also, I highly recommend to anybody who suffers from chronic canker sores to give up soda (regular and diet). You will be healthier and richer for it, and hopefully canker sore free as well!
http://naturalrecipegirl.com/2010/05/natural-cold-sore-remedy/
Marie responded on 12 Apr 2011 at 12:15 pm #
I totally feel you! I can’t look someone in the eye when I say “cold sore” nevermind “herpes.” I got my first one on the 6 hour ride to my college orientation. Talk about terrible timing.
Let’s get real – fever blisters, cold sores, herpes virus #whatever. These. are. just. words. Words used to describe something way more awful for the person who has it than all those other people judging what it is. (So cut it out, be nice to us!) KThanks.
ps. herpecin does work – agreed about the terrible marketing name. Zovirax, a prescription creme, also makes my sores smaller and then heal in 2 or 3 days instead of a week or more.
Bethany responded on 12 Apr 2011 at 12:16 pm #
Yup… about 8 years ago I worked at a hip clothing store out on Martha’s Vineyard and once winter set in all the other chics who worked there were sporting some wicked “fever blisters” as my Grandma calls them. I did not think much of it at the time (other than ewwwww!) but I was answering and talking on the same phones as they were and all that jazz so little did I know I had joined the club. The next summer I woke up one morning with a whopper of a blister on my lip. YeeOuch! At first I had no idea what the hell? But then it dawned upon me…. heeeeerrrpppeeesss. I don’t get them too often… and if I feel one coming on I take a whole bunch of red marine algae and it *almost* always keeps it from being a bad one. Last year I had one the size of a quarter on my upper lip and it took like a month for it to go away. That was one of the worst things I have ever dealt with in regard to ego. It was awful. So yeah… three cheers for chics with fever blisters! Rise up bitches! Don’t let it keep ya down!
Kate responded on 12 Apr 2011 at 12:21 pm #
It never fails to cheer me up how blogging about gross medical stuff always gains me useful info.
erica responded on 12 Apr 2011 at 12:28 pm #
I got herpes from a teen boyfriend and I will never forgive him. I gave it to my son…I’m hoping he forgives me, though. The only thing I have ever had success with is tea tree oil. As soon as I feel “the tingle” I put a smidge on. I might reapply a little later and then before bed. It tastes horrible and not really for consumption, but it works amazingly. Sometimes I don’t even get a scabbed over blister, it just goes away.
oonaballoona responded on 12 Apr 2011 at 2:24 pm #
i love this post! that’s really all i can say.
Mandy responded on 12 Apr 2011 at 2:37 pm #
I have also used tea tree essential oil as a disninfectant: according to everything I have read, it is antibacterial, antiviral and antifungal. It is also one of the few essential oils that can be safely utilized without dilution, (though if you have sensitive skin, you may want to dilute it half and half with jojoba oil.) Lavender essential oil is the other.
Lavender essential oil is reputedly antibacterial, possibly antiviral, and is supposed to promote skin healing.
So, what I usually end up using is a combination of tea tree and lavendar e.o. The lavender also makes the tea tree (which is seriously pungent) smell a whole lot better!
I’ve never had herpes, so I can’t tell you whether my mix would work for that particular malady, but it does work very well for acne–which, at 45, I still get on occasion.
Laura responded on 13 Apr 2011 at 1:12 am #
Ugh, I get them too and I don’t even know where I got it from. I certainly didn’t kiss anyone around that time, so who knows! My cold sores reliably last 2 weeks each. Abreva topical lotion has helped bring that down to 1 week but that’s the best I’ve managed to get it down to. I’m going to try that Lysine idea and see how that goes. Might also try the Herpecin? Yikes but they need a new name.
Joy responded on 13 Apr 2011 at 1:42 am #
Have you tried covering the cold sore in toothpaste overnight?
Liz responded on 13 Apr 2011 at 6:26 am #
Use bamboo salt or salt to wash and cover the infected area with A BIT OF MOIST…will recover faster than using any cream or gel ….
Amanda responded on 13 Apr 2011 at 8:38 am #
@Bethany
That’s how I came into contracted it as well. I worked 2nd shift and didn’t really see the girls I was taking over from since they ran away as soon as they saw me coming. When I broke out and discovered that two of them had this huge gaping, pussing sores on their mouths and were rubbing it all over the phone… And as you know, it only takes one second of getting distracted as you multi-task and letting the phone touch your mouth.
I was so angry. If I had been bigger and could have gotten away with it, I would have punched them so hard.
Megan responded on 13 Apr 2011 at 5:03 pm #
I have genital herpes. Had them for 13 years now. Really not a big deal. Generic valcyclovir works awesome. My husband and I have never used condoms, yet he’s never caught the virus from me. And he’s really understanding about it when I do get a sore, so that’s lucky. I also feel pretty lucky to not have herpes on my face.
Beryl responded on 13 Apr 2011 at 7:08 pm #
Having dealt with genital herpes for over 30 years, you are right, Megan, not really a big deal. Now, it has been over two years since I’ve had an outbreak, and I never passed it on to anyone. I think that the virus weakens with time, or you build antibodies. I do know that when you feel the tingling, you need to stay away from nuts and chocolate, and start on the valcyclovir or something similiar. Llysine was always helpful to me. Start with very large doses, can’t hurt, it’s an Amino acid.
Karen responded on 14 Apr 2011 at 4:40 pm #
I am in the same boat as Megan. I’ve had the genital kind for over 10 year. The “grosser kind.” Haven’t had an outbreak in 10 years…it’s so not a big deal. Except I won’t let guys, you know, put their mouth down there…which is a damn shame of course.
And I am glad I don’t have them on my lips!
Love this blog, by the way!!
Kate responded on 14 Apr 2011 at 4:49 pm #
Haha! I love the subtle tension between the mouth herpes and genital herpes people here. We each need to have our own family crests, but seriously, guys, we share plenty of ancestors.
MWN responded on 15 Apr 2011 at 12:57 am #
Kate, you are awesome. Thank you so much for being vocal about having Herpes. As a sex educator, I learned that one in five adults have it, so WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SUCH A BIG DEAL?! It’s so easy to spread, it’s not even accurate to call it a “sexually” transmitted infection, when you can get it from a platonic kiss, sharing a drink, using your friend’s chapstick…
Let’s put a face to a name and stare down judgement. I have a cold, you have herpes. You’ll have herpes a lot longer than I’ll have the cold, but it’s not a reflection on either of our personalities or personal hygienes.
Lanika responded on 17 Apr 2011 at 8:13 pm #
I wish I had read this earlier… I just spent the last week inside because my cold sores… sorry. I just spent the last week inside because my herpes turned into a staph infection (as it does 90% of the time), which is double gross looking and sounding. I’m going to go enjoy the sunshine now. Taboo infection be damned.
Caitie responded on 17 Apr 2011 at 8:14 pm #
Hey Kate, I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and I really enjoy your writing. I cannot say herpes I just can’t! Cold sores.. My dad gets them and he gave them to me, a lovely paternal gift! I get them above my lip and oh god they are massive, I weep and wail and thrust my head into a paper bag of shame. I take lysine tablets every few months, a bottle at a time, one tablet a day, I haven’t had one since 2009 *touches wood feverishly* also zinc, vitamin E, and no trying on tester lip glosses! Anyway I’ll think of you the next time it happens to me (but it is just possible I could somehow never have one again right?) fly the flag bravely! That’s all now.
Katherine responded on 07 May 2011 at 9:50 pm #
Two men I have had in my life have had cold sores (a close family member and a boyfriend I had years ago), and I have a very high level of respect for them that they were always careful not to share them with me. However since my close family member had them, I think if I caught it now I would mostly have a healthy attitude towards it. I know that eventually your sores will probably stop appearing, my close family member has not had a sore in decades now.
Jenny W responded on 02 Jun 2011 at 11:06 am #
Here is a article about Lysine
http://www.dailyrx.com/videos/cold-sore-prevention-l-lysine.html
Interesting experience Alex had with the Super Cream