Hooray! No more pimples! (Why don't people celebrate this more?)
I saw some photos of myself at sixteen or so and I had this horrible thought: was I a lot hotter then?
(me being beautiful at sixteen, in a rare unpimpled moment, in low light)
It’s horrible for a couple of reasons.
1) It doesn’t even matter, so the fact that my mind does that to me is insulting. I’m smart, and sort of grown up. I should be making intelligent, logical observations about the world.
2) When I was sixteen, I was pretty sure I was going to be even hotter by the time I was twenty. I couldn’t actually imagine being twenty-five, because that sounded like it might be located on a planet so far away astronomers could only speculate about its existance based on how the light of a distant star flickered ever so slightly. But if I had been able to imagine it, I would’ve been positive that I would’ve been even hotter than twenty by then.
3) I don’t want my sixteen-year-old self to win!
Sheesh. Win? I’m competing with myself now? It’s shameful.
Anyway, I was thinking things along these disgraceful lines, when I remembered pimples.
It’s so easy to think about how much better this and that used to be appearance-wise. You think things like and I didn’t even appreciate it back then…We don’t spend enough time celebrating our little physical victories. The creeping up of good fortune, the slow turning of luck. For example, I totally forgot that I used to get a lot of pimples. Which is sort of amazing, considering that at some point, they were painfully embarrassing, sometimes just plain painful, and felt inescapable.
In defense of my former pimples, I will say that they were incredibly satisfying to pop. I miss that a little. I don’t miss the way they looked even the slightest bit.
As the memories flood in, I’m having flashbacks of being jealous of my friends who got zits in less terrible places and even more jealous of the ones who somehow never got them at all (what was with those people?! Are they destined to outlive me by ten years, too?). Of the time when I was fourteen, asking my big, cool cousin about his college dating life, and I said, “Do the girls still have pimples?” and he, “Yeah, especially the hot ones. All over their faces. It’s really sexy.” And then he laughed a lot. Which I took to mean, “No. Only lame little kids who will never be sexy college girls have pimples.”
I got them on my chin, which made me feel like I was probably cursed. I got them on my shoulders and a few on my back, which made me feel like I was a guy. I got some on my chest, which seemed excessive, and my neck, which wasn’t quite as bad, because they weren’t as obvious, but was still obnoxious enough. The only decent place I got them was on my forehead, where I could cover them up with my hair.
(Ha! I know your tricks, young Kate!)
Inevitably, I got a huge one when I was going to see someone I wanted to impress. I’d tell myself not to pick at it, but some primal, desperate urge would overtake me, and I’d be there, in the middle of the night, squeezing it with all my might in front of the mirror, in the cold light of the bathroom. I had to make it go away. I’d wake up, already praying, and it’d have inflated even more. Horror and hopelessness ensued.
“Don’t pick,” my mom would say at the table. And then, “Don’t pick!” four seconds later. “You’re going to get scars.” I never cared about scars. I wanted to destroy the pimples. Every last one.
Once my boyfriend’s little sister, who was maybe nine, looked at us together and triumphantly pronounced, “He has freckles and she has pimples!” She was clearly impressed with both, but I wasn’t thrilled that my acne had become my defining characteristic.
The worst piece of news I heard concerning my pimply fate came from my dad. I’d wanted to ask him for a while, but didn’t dare, for fear of learning something too terrible to fathom and thus being driven mad. And then one day he got a pimple on his nose. And I said, “So grownups can get pimples too?”
“Oh yeah,” he said. He named a friend who still got quite a few in his forties. He added, “I still had a bunch at twenty-five.”
Twenty-five?! Are you kidding me? Is that even biologically possible? My fate was sealed.
But here I am, twenty-five, and I rarely get a pimple that merits even a glance. That’s evolutionary progress if I’ve ever seen it.
So I think I should take a moment to appreciate how far I’ve come. And to remember that there’s a message in everything. Things will get better. They WILL. Just hang in there.
I’m kidding. I mean, you could take that message from the whole pimple story, but it’d be a little heavy-handed and stuff.
But seriously, it’s kind of amazing how easy it is to forget what I used to hate about the way I looked and remember only what I now hate about the way I look, and skip over the fantastic transformations, convenient little improvements, fascinating developments, current awesomenesses, and happy endings. Here’s to not having pimples anymore!!
And to taking pictures of my cute little brother when I was sixteen. This is the stuff that matters:
* Ā * Ā *
Un-roast: Today I love how much I’m looking forward to wearing little summery dresses again. And how I look in little summery dresses.
P.S. My very cool blogger friend Sarah Von teamed up with some very cool other bloggers (including the ever-fabulous Sally of Already Pretty) on a project called The Post-College Survival Kit. You should check it out!
P.P. S. I really would’ve included a photo of me with pimples, except that I somehow don’t have any. For some very mysterious (that’s sarcasm) reason, I didn’t save any of them on my computer…Maybe my memories of my past will become more and more skewed over time, since I tend to only save the more attractive moments. Kinda interesting.
Kate on April 19th 2011 in Uncategorized
Emmi responded on 19 Apr 2011 at 12:06 pm #
At 27, I still suffer from pimples – though significantly less than I did as a teenager. The major difference now is that I care far less than I did ten years ago. Because of this I torture my face far less, so the pimples tend to go away much more quickly.
Jen responded on 19 Apr 2011 at 12:43 pm #
Rest assured, the universe evens the score. I didn’t have much for pimples during my teens. One now and then, but nothing much. At 26 I magically developed eczema and pimples on my face and at 27 I developed a serious case of bacne. Consider that an adult win for you! š
Laurel responded on 19 Apr 2011 at 1:53 pm #
Glad for your happy realization. I’ll be turning 24 this year and still have pimples galore (though fewer since I cut out caffeine and almost all chocolate).
Kate responded on 19 Apr 2011 at 1:57 pm #
oh no! Am I luckier than I even knew?
@Jen especially– I don’t want to laugh, but you put it so amusingly š
Kate responded on 19 Apr 2011 at 2:45 pm #
I also have way worse acne now than I ever did at 16 or any of my teenage years. It’s really unpleasant – but I’m also far happier in my body now than I was at that age so maybe it all evens out. But if I ever become pimple free again, you can rest assured I will celebrate. Often and publicly.
Erinleigh responded on 19 Apr 2011 at 3:16 pm #
I never had pimples UNTIL I turned about 26! Go figure…I think I would have much rather had them back in high school…when I was a complete bookworm and never even cared about boy or how I looked.
Now at 31, I have scars galore! I hate them but it’s my own darn fault….and Kate your Mom was so so very right! Don’t pick! hahaha I can’t leave the house now without concealer or I feel like people are just staring at my battle scars!
Halley responded on 19 Apr 2011 at 6:58 pm #
First time reader and I really enjoy your writing style.
Also I’ve also got battle scars from picking at scabs (TMI?) but I wanted them to go away and instead it’s a reminder of how impatient I am.
Keeping in mind the whole picture- I’m better off now than at 16. Although it’s easier when I keep forgetting I’m 25.
I love the picture of you and your brother – it’s really sweet.
Sarah responded on 19 Apr 2011 at 11:37 pm #
I have WAY more pimples at 29 than I did at 16!! I never had much acne then, but at about age 24 I suddenly got painful cystic acne. Bummer. So unfortunately I can’t celebrate this particular victory with you, though I am still very happy to no longer be 16.
Mandy responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 12:10 am #
Kids, I’m 45, and I still get the occasional pimple–mostly during my menses, and when I’m ovulating. I tried a whole bunch of things, including checking whether I had allergies to ingredients in make-up, lotions, facial washes, foods… (Turns out I AM allergic to MSG–rotten, nagging headaches that lasted for hours no matter what I did.)
I finally researched herbs, experimented for months, and found something that really reduced the acne to almost non-existence: Milk thistle capsules. According to my research, milk thistle contains a substance called silymarin, which is supposed to support liver function. And since my acne is/was hormone driven, apparently the silymarin helped my liver to process the extra hormones.
The acne practially disappeared. Hooray! I wasn’t looking forward to having pimples when I was fifty. Somehow, it struck me that having acne and wrinkles at the same time would be grossly unfair…
I don’t know if this approach might help anyone else (we’re all put together a bit differently) but checking in with a nutritionist at your local health/organic food store is worth a shot…
Be warned, though! Once you start researching food ingredients and reading labels, there’s no going back.
And, those of you with eczema–have you tried putting a chlorine filter in your shower head? I did, and I find that my skin and hair are much less dry and itchy, especially in the winter.
Unroast: Today, I am enjoying trying on the (hopefully) wise elder hat. I kinda like the way it fits…
Lilli responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 7:22 am #
Having read through Kate’s actual piece, i was starting to hope that in, say four years when i’ll be 20, those horrible pimples will be gone. Cue my heart soaring above the stars with hope. then i read your comments, about adult pimples being worse than teenage ones… worse??? that’s unfathomable >,<
My skin is absolutely fine EVERYWHERE except my chin (which already is rather prominent) and yeah, the picking thing, because i prefer a bit of a pink patch to a scab, so i think i'm going to have chin scras forever, AND zits all over my chin…
Does the future look peachy?
š
Pip responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 8:25 am #
this is an excellent point. how ironic to be thinking ‘what a shame, i looked so good back then and didn’t appreciate it’ whilst also not appreciating how good you look right now!
also, if it gives any young people hope, i have much less pimples than i did as a teenager (though in fairness i do eat a lot better, exercise and i quit smoking) tbh i think it’s different for everyone
x
Amanda responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 9:34 am #
Haha, hooray! At 23, I still get pimples… especially around certain times of the month… but you give me hope that one day (soon, please) I will be celebrating too!
Alina @ Duty Free Foodie responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 12:57 pm #
I pretty much never had them until I decided to take a few months break from hormonal birth control in January. A couple of months into that, disaster! I am hoping things right themselves soon with the help of summer and healthy eating. It would be nice to fix the situation before I get back on the pills, just so I know my body hasn’t been irrevocably destabilized by them.
Amanda responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 3:30 pm #
My body decided to screw with me to the extreme once I hit about 20. Weight gain, hair thinned and got dry, adult onset acne. The whole nine. Three years later and I’m pretty sure all of that is permanent at this point.
20 year old me couldn’t get her tubes tied though. 23 year old me did! BWAHAHAHA. Jokes on you body! JOKES. ON. YOU.
Mandy responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 4:58 pm #
Amanda@
“My body decided to screw with me to the extreme once I hit about 20. Weight gain, hair thinned and got dry, adult onset acne. The whole nine. Three years later and Iām pretty sure all of that is permanent at this point.”
Have you had your thyroid function checked?
Leslie responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 8:37 pm #
All I can say is: fellow pimple poppers unite! There are those who like to pop, and those who don’t. I count myself in the LOVE to pop category. I also like to peel sunburned skin, and I found picking my daughters nits (when she had lice) strangely satisfying. I would probably enjoy being a person who gives facials at spas (facialists???), and I have seriously considered becoming a professional nit-picker (do you know how much people will pay someone else to rid their hair of lice?).
Another angle of this is: as much as I love my husband, he is decidedly against this behavior of mine and won’t let me pop any of his pimples – even the really great ones that will squirt out just so. And, he runs screaming from me if he has peely skin after getting a sunburn. Oh well, he’s pretty great in every other way, oh – except that he can’t roll his tongue – my lord, how have I been married to the man for 20 years!?
Kate responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 11:10 pm #
@Leslie
I feel like we’re soulmates.
Ashley @ Nourishing The Soul responded on 20 Apr 2011 at 11:45 pm #
I just developed a major break-out, like nothing I ever even had at sixteen. So even though my acne seems to be getting worse with age rather than better, I’m certainly able to handle it better!
Jo responded on 21 Apr 2011 at 5:06 am #
Well, i still have pimples at 20. Big ones. Usually around my moth, which is a horrible place to get them. Not as covered in them as I was when I was 14 though(when I didn’t really have a face showing under all those pimples). I hate them.
keishua responded on 21 Apr 2011 at 9:57 am #
I sometimes get pimples but usually only when my hormones are crazy. Otherwise, my skin seem okay but as teenager I was alway getting major breakouts. I do think I know how to take of my skin better these days, though.
meerkat responded on 23 Apr 2011 at 5:47 am #
Things will get better? Technically my skin is better at 28 than they were at 16, in the way that being attacked by a wolverine is better than being attacked by fifteen bears wielding chainsaws. Sorry I suck at analogies.
Rebecca responded on 27 Apr 2011 at 3:59 pm #
I never, ever, EVER look back at my teenage pictures with any sort of nostalgia. I hated the way I looked then, hate it even more now.
(Didn’t help that my dad takes terribly unflattering pictures of people)
My awkward stage lasted from 14 till I was 25 and had the good damn sense to quit teaching high school.
I had zits then, still get ’em now–usually when I’m stressed, and picking at my face becomes a compulsive thing, impossible to resist.
However,
since I feel as though I’ve grown into myself, and have found a style that is both definitively mine and flattering, I don’t mind the zitting quite as much.