Love and Money
In this city, people are always talking about two things: money and love. The majority of the conversations I overhear are on one of these topics. I swear.
Not sex, by the way. I feel like someone might guess sex. But it’s not. It’s relationships.
It’s a really educated city, I think. We’re super stylish and cultured in general. We’re quick-thinking and cynical. We are at the center of a lot of worlds, and we’re good at being the center of attention. We know what’s what. We have a lot going on. We are highly motivated, intensely ambitious people at the top of our game. But this is what I keep hearing:
“Man, I don’t need no high maintenance chick,” a guy is saying to his friend.
“No, he was always a little bit off. You can’t blame yourself,” a woman is saying into her phone.
“I fucking loved him!” a girl in tight everything exclaims to another girl in a practically identical outfit.
“Wait– WHO is getting married?!”
(really, New York? That’s it? What about international politics? What about multicultural discourse on organic farming?)
And the couples murmur unintelligible and probably inappropriate things to each other on the subway, wrapped together, fingers caressing.
And interwoven with this one, is an endless, constant conversation about money.
“You need to learn about prices,” a woman is telling her preteen son, “You need to understand how this fits into the budget.”
“How much is your rent?” a girl on the train asks a group of twenty-somethings, and they all share the numbers openly. They are obviously living somewhere deep in Brooklyn, with roommates, because one girl says, “Six-hundred and sixty-six. I’m the devil.”
“So cheap!” I whisper to Bear, joining the conversation with 8 million voices. More than that.
I say “so cheap” because it is incredibly, absurdly, almost improbably expensive to live here. And numbers that once sounded large to me sound insignificant. And I understand why everyone is talking about money.
“I’m not some lawyer guy who is making, like, two-hundred grand a year over here,” a construction worker complains to his companion.
“Oh, he’s doing very, very well,” I hear a woman saying somewhere behind me, by Central Park. “House in the Hamptons well.”
If I were to ask New York City what it thought were the most important things in life, it might give some official answer like “Creativity and ambition.” Or “Perseverance and diversity.” But I know the truth. Money and love.
Well, you really need both to get by.
I wonder if people talk about different things in other places. I wonder if I moved to Helsinki right now, if people would be having similar conversations. I mean, I wouldn’t understand them, so that might interfere with my research.
I can’t tell sometimes if I’m disappointed that life turns out to be so simple, when I keep expecting it to be incredibly complicated, or if it’s a relief. Love and money. I can talk about that. But I’m also not going to stop reading the New York Times and at least trying to occasionally think about something non-essential.
(What about THIS, New York? Any comments on this? You’re clearly being invaded by pirates.)
* * *
Unroast: Today I love the way my skin feels in the heat.
Kate on July 12th 2011 in Uncategorized
Stefanie responded on 12 Jul 2011 at 12:22 pm #
I’m not living in Helsinki, but I can tell you that here in Germany it’s all the same – love and money are the most discussed topics.
Read the novels of Jane Austen, for example, and you find the same pattern there: love and money. 🙂 It’s nice seeing that the same things are important to us now as they were to all the millions of people living before us. Although we may be separated by language, culture, the place where we live or time, we are united by these topics and thus we can understand each other.
Katie responded on 12 Jul 2011 at 12:31 pm #
you made me think of something i once heard, that we only feel two base emotions and all others stem from them: love and fear. i thought about it, and i think it’s fairly accurate in its simplicity…your thoughts?
anna responded on 12 Jul 2011 at 4:26 pm #
it reminds me of a section in ‘eat pray love’ (yes i loved that book :)) where she’s talking about a friend who was assigned to counsel refugees from a war-torn nation. the friend was intimidated by the assignment, until she realized the refugees just wanted to talk about their ‘boy problems,’ just like all her other clients.
Kate responded on 12 Jul 2011 at 4:29 pm #
@Anna
I remember that part exactly! 🙂
Kate responded on 12 Jul 2011 at 4:30 pm #
@Katie
That sounds about right to me. Those are my two major feelings! Then again, I’m pretty simple…. 🙂
Deanna responded on 12 Jul 2011 at 8:43 pm #
I grew up in a seriously academic family and whenever there were parties at our house people just talked about literature, politics, social issues and other high brow topics. There was some gossip but mostly about other professors not getting tenure or perhaps a class being cancelled. I thought I was unique or maybe just young because I thought so much about boys and having money.
When I got out into the real world and started to work, I realized that my family was very different. Most people never talked about the things my family talked about. Even educated people tended to talk about jobs, financial security…maybe sex now and again.
I realized that although I do like the occasional chat about a good book or a great movie, I like thinking about more basic things. I also tend to be distrustful of people who refuse to talk about anything unless it is considered intellectual enough. When I used to think they were just smarter than everyone else, now I realize they are just snobs.
MarieElizabeth responded on 12 Jul 2011 at 9:27 pm #
Yes, it’s about money and love here too. When you have both, it’s much easier to talk about other things. Maslow was right.
Casey responded on 13 Jul 2011 at 4:55 am #
Here in Oz it’s pretty much all about love & money too…
Megan B. responded on 13 Jul 2011 at 6:31 am #
I live (right outside of) Helsinki… originally from NY… and yeah, love and money are definitely international topics of conversation!
Although, I have got to be honest… you can’t get Finns to open up about those two particulars unless they have had plenty of booze. What a drag!
I miss NY too much sometimes. Personally for me, the city is so exciting because it allows me to be so anonymous and talk about these two personal topics, love and money, at audible levels without feeling ashamed or embarrassed… even if I know 15 people are listening! Here in Finland everything is kept personal and quiet, especially in public. If you are talking loud on a cell phone in a bus for example, you get plenty of dirt looks … sometimes I have this urge to just rant and rave in English while talking to nobody… anyone!?!
Kate responded on 13 Jul 2011 at 11:08 am #
@Megan B
Wait…seriously?? Right outside of Helsinki. That’s amazing. How come you moved there? I now want to know your entire life story.
And also, I always feel really famous when it turns out I have readers everywhere in the world. It’s awesome.
Megan B. responded on 13 Jul 2011 at 12:27 pm #
@Kate
Yes, seriously! It is a city called Espoo… if Helsinki were Manhattan then Espoo would be Brooklyn.
Yeah, I started following your blog when I read a few of your articles on my AOL home page!
I always find it interesting when I hear or see people mention Helsinki or Finland.. most of the time I find people thinking of Sweden or Norway.. and forgetting about the other little Scandinavian sweetheart.. =)
All is well, Helsinki is the Culture Capital of 2012 so I think it will have a nice little star moment getting some publicity.
Life story is not so interesting… but I guess we all have that kind of perspective on our own lives.
I came here originally as a High School exchange student… fell in LOVE… came back as an Au Pair to make some MONEY and be with my LOVE … I was so busy with my plans of traveling and “rebelling” against the norm or going to college right after high school.. that after taking a year off I thought I would try it out here in Finland . After all Finland has been said to have the best quality education system in the world …. also the fact that is was free was a huge incentive.
So I got accepted to a business program here… I work at the post office as a summer job and it’s good fun!
You should visit Finland! It is magical in the summer with the midnight sun… I love that I can wear my sunglasses until 10.30pm …. quite the contrast from the winter months!
Jenna Irene responded on 13 Jul 2011 at 3:19 pm #
coming from the middle of Helsinki born and raised, yes. it is all I ever hear as well.
Eat the Damn Cake » falling out of love responded on 26 Mar 2012 at 1:16 pm #
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