sexy enough for yoga?
There are a couple big reasons why I don’t do yoga.
1. Everyone else does it
2. I know already that I’m bad at it
3. It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that people should actually be able to be really bad at
(4. It has this spirituality edge that makes me uncomfortable)
#4 isn’t as big. I can deal with that.
(source)
My mom’s back is messed up. She got a scary diagnosis. She is one of those people who isn’t good at talking about it when something’s wrong. For most of my life, I can’t remember her being sick, because she was so good at not being sick. Even when she was actually sick, she kept going like nothing was wrong, and I only knew when Dad said, “Mom’s not feeling good today.”
“Wait– what?”
She is stoical. She is ridiculously strong. (I don’t take after her in this way at all. I’m a total whiner. I’m like, “Ow!! I got a paper cut! Oh my god, it hurts! This is the worst paper cut anyone has ever gotten. Is it infected? Could it be infected already?”) She never wants to focus on the negative, she’s always getting things done, and it’s like she just doesn’t have time to deal with that stuff.
Until now. Now she can’t not deal with it, because she’s been in so much pain that even she can’t hide it. So she did her research and started doing yoga, for like two hours a day. She did that for 6 months, and then her back felt better. It was the kind of problem where they were like, “Well, surgery might be the way to go…This isn’t going to get better…” and the woman yoga’ed her way out of it. It blew my mind.
(source)
She said, “You should really do yoga.” She swears by it. Obviously.
The back problems, they can be genetic. I already have scoliosis, which is why my butt sticks out in a sexy way and I curl naturally forward in a totally unsexy way. It’s almost impossible for me to stand completely straight.
It’s been six months since she first suggested it, and I still haven’t done any yoga.
(source)
When I took a pilates class in college, at some point the instructor stopped the class and said, “Kate? Are you OK? Why don’t you sit this one out.” I went and sat, panting against the wall. It was a huge relief. It was beginner pilates. I’m not even remotely flexible. I am the only person in the world who can’t touch her toes when she bends over. Even my dad can touch his toes. Even Bear, who is huge, and looks like his body shouldn’t be able to fold, can touch his toes. I feel really alone sometimes.
Once, when I was fourteen, I went to a mandatory yoga thing at summer camp, and we had to stick our legs in the air and hold them there for some inhumane amount of time, and my shorts were falling off and I could feel air going into my vagina. Sorry, that was graphic. Air in the vagina is a bad feeling. That was graphic again. It was a bad feeling. I had this horrible suspicion that I was the only one who was getting air in her vagina. That no one else would be able to mess this sacred yoga pose up this fantastically.
So I’m scared of yoga. (Although it was OK when Bear and I did some yoga on our belated honeymoon, because I was better at it than him.)
And I don’t want to be yet another perky, cool New York City woman with a yoga mat rolled up and slung over her shoulder. Because I know I am not skinny and perky and cool enough. And because I like to avoid doing the things that those women do. And because I don’t really trust them to pick the right things to do.
But maybe they’ve picked the right thing this time.
I mean, my mom says so. She is a lot more on the perky side than me. But it worked. And that’s the thing that actually matters.
(Come ON! Sitting on the surface of the water? Maybe I’m just not doing yoga because I don’t have a gorgeous enough forest to do it in? Source. )
Yoga stories, anyone? Advice?
* * *
Unroast: Today I love my knuckles. They are sweet-looking. Kind of girly.
P.S. Today my bonus mom (mother-in-law) is coming to visit for a week! I’m excited! She’s like this. Check it out. And can you believe that she is ALSO a diabetic? But Bear got this ice cream machine, so we can make sugar-free ice cream. And I might be doing more zumba, since she recently got her certification to be an instructor! Oh my god. So intimidating.
Kate on September 1st 2011 in Uncategorized
LeeH responded on 02 Sep 2011 at 12:48 pm #
I SO understand #4, there’s a comfort factor there that misses the mark. Could be the teacher. I’ve only taken one class, and probably would have been fun with a friend along, but I went alone and felt alone. Not for me
I really like that your MIL is a bonus mom. I have 2 stepdaughters, and I wish they could think of me as a bonus. They have a mother, don’t need me, should be happy their Dad found someone; but I’m mostly ignored. In one’s cell phone I’m listed as “stepmom”. I would prefer to be just Lee. If we were friends I would be Lee, I guess I know where I stand with her
Just sayin’.. bonus mom is such a compliment. She’s lucky to have you
Meg responded on 02 Sep 2011 at 12:49 pm #
I love yoga, but I thought I’d hate it for exactly the same reasons you do! I’ve been practicing for three months and I’m still not flexible and feel quite alone when everyone in the class is bent all the way over and I’m still hanging out at mid-point, but I don’t care because I love how yoga makes me feel. I’ve lost weight and toned up and it’s a total stress reliever for me. The zeny, hippy-dippy part of it has grown on me and I agree with comments above that it’s all about the right fit. The studio I currently practice at makes it a hardcore workout, not too spiritual at all. I see each class as a challenge and feel great afterward!
You should totally try it, but REALLY try it. Thinking I hated it, I decided to give it a real go for a month and if I hated it, I hated it, but at least I tried. I was hooked after the first week!
Courtney responded on 02 Sep 2011 at 1:39 pm #
I can’t touch my toes, either! The only axis of flexibility in my entire family is that my dad’s side has vaguely special hips. I can put my foot behind my head, but ask me to touch my toes and I’m screwed. (I blame my hamstrings.)
You may actually be flexible in ways you didn’t know! Try different stretches/yoga positions/etc. Also, being flexible isn’t a requirement for life; being not stiff is where it’s at.
Emily responded on 02 Sep 2011 at 1:58 pm #
It makes me feel better that other people also can’t touch their toes. I’m 25 and in decent shape but I’m not even anywhere *close*, the furthest I can get is the top of my knees! I wonder if that has to do with the scoliosis also. And then I wonder whether the scoliosis has something to do why I get a surprising amount of compliments about my butt. LOL 🙂
Krystina responded on 02 Sep 2011 at 3:34 pm #
Wow! You got a lot of comments on this one! 🙂
I think yoga is a very good source of exercise and it helps me with my high blood pressure, stress and by the time end of the hour I do feel better. Mentally and physically. The only reason I tried it is because after being in two horrible car accidents – not that any car accident is good – my chiropractor told me it would be a good idea for me. He was right…It can be intimidating but don’t not try it cause of that reason. Wait till you take a class with your buzzed head…now that’s intimidating.
By the way, I finally cut my hair off. I was the chick who had the mullett after having a brain tumor surgery. My hair cut turned out really cute and I am soo glad I went through with it. Thanks Kate
OH – I have been beside chicks who pass gas during yoga – hilarious
Krystina responded on 02 Sep 2011 at 3:35 pm #
I also take zumba three times a week – it’s a BLAST!
Kate responded on 02 Sep 2011 at 5:11 pm #
@Krystina
Good for you!! I’m glad you cut your hair! Send me a pic sometime. Actually, eat some cake and send me a pic of that 🙂
And yeah, zumba is really fun. I’m always the one panting in the corner, of course, while the 70-year-old women are shaking their booties and dancing circles around me. But I like it anyway. Or maybe that’s part of why I like it.
And hooray for comments! I never know what will motivate people to comment. Apparently it’s yoga! Even pubic hair isn’t this fun to talk about.
Leslie responded on 02 Sep 2011 at 5:18 pm #
Kate, I want to echo what Tempest said…please consider giving bellydance a try!
GreatCanadianBeagle responded on 03 Sep 2011 at 8:42 pm #
I went to my one and only yoga class with a friend of mine from school. She took me to her studio, she chose the class, so I can’t be very knowledgeable about the type or anything, but i did pretty well I think for a newbie. I learned very quickly not to look in the mirror. In my head, my body was graceful, lithe and supple. In the mirror, my body was awkward, shaking and rigid. I think it’s more important how it made me feel than made me look, and so I focused on my internal picture and had a blast!
PS: I also can’t touch my toes. I couldn’t touch my toes when I was 7 years old, can’t do it now at 27. I don’t think this is a comment on my overall fitness level, as even when I’m at my most active and can hike 10k trails of insane hilliness without getting overly winded, I still can’t touch my toes!
Jen responded on 04 Sep 2011 at 4:15 pm #
Well, yoga sucked rocks for me. I could not move my body into the poses and I kept looking around and comparing myself to the bendaroos trying to show off. The instructor looked like david carradine (now deceased) with long hair and he would walk around and look at us when we were laying down supposadly relaxing. I always had my eyes open checking where he was. He told us he put salt water up one nose then out the other to clear his sinuses. The class actually stressed me out. I think it’s over rated. Instead of yoga, try a cocktail to relax. That works pretty good.
Stephanie responded on 04 Sep 2011 at 6:03 pm #
I converted to some yoga one summer when I stumbled into a runner/golfer yoga class. All these older guys who also couldn’t touch their toes, a few crazy skinny runners, and me, who couldn’t stand on one leg. The teacher was a lovely senior triathlete with a french (canadian?) accent who did not fall into yonder NYC yoga stereotypes.
I can now stand on one leg. And stay there… until I fall over. It helps a good bit with my hip flexibility and back strengthening. Other teachers have not quite fit as well as she did… but I persist, on a monthy-ish basis in classes and more often at home.
The spirituality aspect, though, I’ve never been terribly comfortable with and just sit there awkwardly in silence thinking that it feels like my parents making me go to church as a teenager and “I DONT WANT TO. Because I’m not a hypocrite and I don’t believe in this system.”
anna responded on 04 Sep 2011 at 6:47 pm #
didn’t read all the comments, so it’s possible someone has said this already, but just wanted to agree. air in the vagina? it’s the worst! and then when you try to push it out it sounds like a fart. situation is no good for anybody.
pam responded on 05 Sep 2011 at 10:44 am #
Hi Kate!
I started practicing yoga a few years ago. I started practicing yoga because I was a nervous wreck from college and all of my work demands. Friends kept telling me how great it is for the nerves and how great your body will feel after practicing yoga. It sounded like a miracle perscription, so I was determined to try it.
The first 3-4 times I went, I didn’t care for it. I too couldn’t touch my toes, do the splits, or bend backwards. I’m a fairly small person, so I thought I should be able to do all of those graceful things like the other people in the class. I almost gave up.
Not only could I barely bend my body, the instructors I went to the first 3 or 4 times were aggressive and were not what I was expecting from a yoga instructor. I thought all yoga instructors were supposed to give off a sense of “zen” and happiness. These ladies were yelling out the poses as if I were taking an aerobics class. So much for calming my nerves.
I was going to go to all of the yoga classes offered by different yoga instructors at my gym before I called quit on the yoga classes. I finally found my “zen” instructor. She put on the cheezy trance mood music, spoke in a soft voice, and gave suggestions on easy poses for beginners (which was hard for me at the beginning). I even switched out the hard poses I couldn’t do for a pose midly easier.
I can now proudly say I can touch my toes, my back feels fantastic, and I feel as though I’m breathing better. I’m also happier… Go figure! Maybe it’s in my head and I really wanted it to work, or maybe it really does. Who knows. 🙂
I haven’t worked on the splits thing yet. 😀
Already Missing Him : A Rose-Colored Lens responded on 05 Sep 2011 at 7:49 pm #
[…] I really need to start meditating or something. (Edited to add: And YOGA.) […]
yaga responded on 06 Sep 2011 at 2:37 am #
Hey, I want to pass on the “Liebster Blog” Award to you, for brightening up my Mondays! :o)
More details over here: http://theshinybubble.blogspot.com/2011/09/good-things-on-monday.html
Have a fab week!
yaga
Kate responded on 06 Sep 2011 at 11:02 am #
@yaga
Thank you! I’m bad at following up on blog awards sometimes, but I really appreciate you picking me!
Sonja responded on 07 Sep 2011 at 3:31 pm #
Ten (or fifteen? I’m not that old!) years ago, when I did yoga as a teenager, the rest of the class participants were women in their fifties.
Yoga has really de-aged. 🙂
Brook @ To Be Dancing responded on 07 Sep 2011 at 6:54 pm #
Bellydancing is wonderful, too. As is Zumba.
My dance instructor last year was talking about being able to do the splits. She asked, “Why?” Other than doing it just to be able to say you could do it, if you aren’t a professional dancer, there’s no reason to do them.
LovelyLici responded on 08 Sep 2011 at 12:30 pm #
I’m not into yoga either. It’s too popular and overdone. How could that be cool? It can’t. That’s what.
I tried a class when I was in university. ONE class. It sucked. After a while, I just laid flat on the floor until it was over. Never went back.
Also, I think what’s happening in the yoga world today is a total bastardization of the REAL thing. It’s too pop-culture now, and not rootsy and real and stuff. Yeah. Screw yoga. AND pilates. I mean, seriously… Who wants to stretch for an hour? Not me. And flexibility? Let’s save that for straws, shall we?
Eat the Damn Cake » Orthorexia responded on 08 Sep 2011 at 12:39 pm #
[…] Greek-based term for something that’s wrong with them. I have scoliosis (as you know from the yoga post) and anemia, myself. Wait, neither of those is from the Latin, right? I probably also have several […]
Kate Fridkis: Orthorexia Nervosa: Can Eating Healthy Be A Disorder? | All about Health responded on 10 Sep 2011 at 10:02 pm #
[…] who can’t recite at least one Greek-based term for something that’s wrong with them. I have scoliosis and anemia, myself. Wait, neither of those is from the Latin, right? I probably also have several […]
Crystal Lutton responded on 12 Sep 2011 at 12:25 am #
Thought you might want to know I was never able to touch my toes either. I was also tested by a physical therapist who informed me I have 0% flexibility in my calves. Nice, hunh? A few months ago a physical therapist working at Massage Envy informed me my hips were out of their sockets on both sides–he popped them back in and I could touch my toes! WHO KNEW?
Thanks for your thoughts–glad you’re sharing them 🙂
shizzknits responded on 12 Sep 2011 at 2:57 pm #
I’m late to the party, but thought I would chime in with my experience since I also have scoliosis. My spine is quite out of whack and when I was younger I should have had surgery or bracing.
Since I’ve never had corrective measures for my spine, I was literally in pain 24/7 by the time I was in my early 30s. This all came to a head when I was pregnant with my oldest son (now 9)- my pelvis separated at 28 weeks (google pub!c symphysis disorder) due to the uneven torquing of my spine/pelvis. Not fun!
By the time I was 34 I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning without sitting there for 10-15 min. Mind you, I have always been somewhat athletic…playing tennis/hockey/volleyball. So I was terrified: “if I’m in this much pain now, what will life be like when I’m 50?!”
My chiro suggested I try yoga…and I did…and for those who say “I took one class and never again” that’s like saying “I tried one flavor of ice cream and didn’t like it so I’m never trying ice cream again”…there are SO MANY different types of yoga from super athletic to restorative. Ruling out all yoga because you took one style from one instructor is sort of silly. It took me about 6 months to find the right studio/style for me and since then I’ve not looked back.
The past three years have been amazing- I am relatively pain-free (for the first time in my life). And I’ve also gained a more grounded mental and spiritual outlook on life. Last summer I was certified as a yoga teacher and now I love teaching to all kinds of people: big, small, athletic and not….my classes are light and fun. I teach in layers so there is something for everyone. The thing I love about yoga is that there is always something I can change to tailor the practice for myself….not everyone is super athletic or bendy! I have real hips and b00bs so I’m not built like your typical yoga/fitness teacher.
And just FYI, I will be 40 next year and am stronger in mind and body than I was 20 years ago. Yoga is something I *know* I can continue to practice forever…one of my teachers was 80 yrs old and still practiced daily!
Anyways…not to go on and on but I really hope you try yoga and try it more than once. Go to several different studios and try different styles! Find “your” ice cream flavor and you will fall in love! Good luck!
Eat the Damn Cake » a funny thing happened at yoga responded on 26 Jan 2012 at 2:58 pm #
[…] that is one of the reasons I am not good at yoga. Also, I am not flexible (does this make me less sexy? I’m pretty sure it does). Also, I have […]